look at the birds...

mia

2012-01-23T12:53:00.004-05:00

i realize i've been MIA. i'm hoping a bunch of small recaps & instagram pictures will make up for that.

recaps:
- i'm busy. duh.
- the 49ers lost. last night was a sad night in the bird house.
- i finally updated my food blog.
- my youngest child knows stuff. like where her nose is, where her eyes are & where her belly is. she also knows that owls say, "whoo whoo" & cats say, "meeeow". she plays peek-a-book & knows how to brush her teeth & hair. this blows my mind because i'm still in denial about her growing up.
- my eldest child is now sleeping in her big girl bed (i know, i know. pictures of her room. they're actually on my computer now- getting close!) & like to fight her afternoon nap. i'm not entirely sure that i'm ready for either of those things.
- i did the 30 Day Shred for 30 days (hooray). & then i stopped (booo). well, after 3 weeks i feel incredibly guilty- so tonight it's back on the horse, a horse named Jillian.
- what do i tell the husband i want for my upcoming birthday? besides things that are way to $$$ (hello, new lens) i have no ideas.
- i ordered a Shark Steam Mop (courtesy of a $50 JCP coupon thanks to a screw up on their end) & i'm beyond excited for it to get here. like, i'm giddy. wtf gets giddy for a steam mop?!

and now, here's a hefy dose of Instagram:

and because it deserves to be bigger- homemade CrunchWrap Supremes. right? kick ass.

& now i have to go buy milk, fruit & cheese. toddler staples.

well that was fun

2012-01-16T09:44:00.004-05:00

see these 2 adorable little girls enjoying dinner in their teepee: (photo via instagram)

well, on friday evening i managed to lock both of them in the car. with my keys. & my phone. in a mini blizzard.

i am currently running for Mother of the Year- feel free to vote for me.

but seriously. last week was epic. my check engine light went off for the 3rd time in 3 weeks. then my heat stopped working. then winter showed up & i froze to death. then i dropped my jeep off & was informed that a mouse had made a home in my motor blower- which apparently wasn't a wise choice for him because now said mouse was dead & his guts were everywhere & he'd left a pretty shitty mess in his wake.

lolz- silly mouse.

so, jeep dropped off, loaner picked up, running around like a crazy person responsible adult, stuff & things, blah blah blah. that was mon- thurs.

this is how friday went.

- drive to work in a loaner car
- drop the girls off @ my mil's
- work
- do lots of other annoying adult stuff (ie: drive around, make phone calls, spend money...)
- get a call from the dealership, "come get your jeep. oh yeah, that'll be $880. burn."
- nature decides that snow is happening right now
- go get jeep. hand over my credit card. cry internal ugly tears.
- back to work
- leave work early to go get the girls
- come back to work to show off the girls (by request)
- say goodbye & heard the girls down the elevator & out to the car
- brynn grabs my keys. hits the lock button. i hear it- but it doesn't register 100%.
- i take key. toss them in the front seat.
- i buckle brynn & alex in. i turn on their DVD. i give them fruit snacks.
- i shut alex's door. i reach for mine....

holy shit. i just locked my kids in the car. along with my phone. do not panic. remain calm.

& i did. i walked around the car & whispered prayers that there was some way i could get in...no dice.

so i ran back into my building, back up to my office & called the husband's cell. he answered- i told him that's the girls were locked in the car....& it was brynn's fault. he questioned how i was blaming this on a 1 year old child- then he said he was on his way.

well he only works about 15 min from me. so i figured i'd be on my way home within 20 min. not too shabby.

i went back downstairs & peeked in on the girls who were happily watching Veggie Tales & eating fruit snacks. they waved at me & were obviously unaware of the predicament. good.

& then it started to blizzard. like, right then. snow, wind, howling. w.t.f?!

so there i was, standing outside in a blizzard, staring at my locked car.
well this is a riot. totally what i'd planned for my friday afternoon.

thankfully the door to my building was within 50 feet of my car- so i ran to it & stood inside. i could see my car & sort of stay warm. i felt a little guilty though- so i ran back out & looked in the car. both girls looked at me.

i waved & gave a thumbs up- like it's totally normal that they're inside the car & mommy is standing outside in the snow. duh.

then i ran back inside. back & forth. & as people left the building i desperately tried to look cool while i stood at the door looking like a 15 year old waiting for her ride. a 15 year old with no fashion sense & no cell phone. i'm thinking they weren't convinced.

then it got dark. like within 2 minutes. light. dark. shit. i should stand outside...

so i did. in non blizzard attire (hello, boat shoes, thin jeans & a fleece jacket) & 45 min later the husband showed up. apparently driving fast in a blizzard is frowned upon my mother nature- so he had to "take it slow..."

by this time my boss had come down & listened to my plight. he asked me if i wanted him to wait with me- i told him no. go home. i'm good. & i thought he had. but it turns out he's a really nice guy who waited in his car & watched to make sure i wasn't mauled by a Yeti (i know this because as i was pulling out & sitting @ the light he pulled up next to me. i gave a mortified wave & gunned it) many thanks to the boss man.

aaanyway. the husband showed up. unlocked my door. i climbed in to my surprisingly warm car & greeted 1 happy toddler & 1 starting to get pissed off toddler (brynn). drove home. unloaded. gave baths. ate dinner & called it a day.

are you jealous? because, hello! adventure!

so. new rule: brynn isn't allowed to touch my keys until she's 16. i told her this after we got home & she just looked at me. i don't think she gets it.

i'm still blaming this on her. at least 95% of it.

as for the squatter mouse who cost me $880, eff you mouse. although i feel bad that you got vaporized.

Mary Kay Winner

2012-01-13T08:45:00.004-05:00

I think this is only the 2nd time this has happened:

i think we can all agree that #1 almost NEVER gets picked. it's like us eager beavers are being punished for wanting free stuff...but this time it paid off for MrsBro:

Congrats MrsBro! Please go here: Contact Melanie & click on the "Send Me a Message" link on the left hand side. Enter your contact info & Melanie will get right back to you!

to everyone else- thanks for commenting as always! if you do want to order something from MK, make sure you follow the links in the original post & enter "lookatthebirds" in the comment section when you check out- 25%!

Brynn's 1st Birthday Party

2012-01-11T12:23:00.003-05:00

i'm only a month late on this. it could be worse.
i could also talk more & try to be witty- but i'm just going to show you pictures because i'm pretty sure that's what the majority of people come here for.

although i do pride myself on being hilarious & using awesome words...my mind is set on the fact that i'm funny. even when i'm being told by the husband, "no. at this moment you are not funny." i'm pretty sure he's lying because he's insanely jealous.

like, i know for a fact that when people walk by the picture of me that he has on his bench at work, they stop & think, "wow. not only is his wife a milf, she's also funny to boot."

he insists this is not what happens at all- in fact, he insists that the only person that stops & looks @ that picture is him. & he insists that yes, although he does think i'm a milf, his #1 though is, "...i wonder what she's making for dinner?"

whatever. ok- here are the pictures. not great- frankly, not even good- but my house is a cave with nothing whatsoever to bounce a flash off of. plus, we were all crammed into a square footage of about 400 ft. no good.
but we still had fun, & we still celebrated brynn's pretty kick ass existance.

we kept it simple:

soda, sparkling grape juice & apple cider
Doritos, mozzerella sticks & chicken fries
$5 pizzas from Little Ceasar's
balloons & a b-day print out
owl cupcake cake (i made it- it was actually pretty easy! although i didn't used canned frosting- i just can't. i also nixed food coloring the coconut & skipped it on the baby owls.)
popcorn grab bags (favors)- a big thank you to Jess for the favor printouts!

the adults stood around & gabbed & the kids toppled over each other in the living room.
party was from 11-1 & both brynn & alex went down for naps after everyone left (amen)

it was a sweet, fun time. we love you brynn! happy 1 year of being alive!

Mary Kay giveaway

2012-01-09T09:49:00.003-05:00

When Melanie first contacted me in regards to a Mary Kay review/giveaway my initial thought was, " Mary Kay? that's what moms use."

::blink blink::

i know, right?

so then i thought, "well i already have a skin care regiment..." which had me surveying my somewhat cluttered side of the bathroom sink & realizing that i totally don't. i basically use whatever. sale? sweet- i'll take it. i have a few things that i stick with, but then again, not really.

so what did i have to lose? nada.

i got a nice little package in the mail & i quickly de-cluttered my side of the sink. i'll be honest, i'm only about 1 week in so i can't say a whole lot. but i can't say anything bad either. skin can be a funny thing & i think changing up your regiment can sometimes throw things out of whack- but so far so good.
i don't have uber sensitive skin- but it's sensitive enough that i have to keep thing spretty simple. wash. rinse. moisterize. done.
Melanie asked me what type of skin i have & then customized my order based on that info.
...that actually makes me feel a lot more grown up than going to target & buying whatever they have on clearance. but i'm easy to please.

& now it's your turn.

1. Melanie is offering a FREE Miracle Set ($90) to 1 winner:

after you win you'll be able to contact Melanie & she'll determine the best set for your skin type. done!

TO ENTER: all you have to do is a leave a comment talling me 1 thing from the MK website that you think you'd use- or something that you have used in the past that you love.

me? i love the Mint Bliss Energizing Lotion. i saw it sitting on the counter at a friends house this summer & used it on my entire body once (not aware of what it actually was) & i was like, "whoa".

2. & for everyone else- you'll get 25% off any MK orders through Melanie simply by mentioning my blog in your comments: go HERE to order & when placing your order enter "lookatthebirds" in the comment box & that's it.

i know a lot of you may have your skin care down to a science & that's awesome, but if any of you are still trying to figure out the best match then this might be a winner.

this giveaway is open until Thurs 01.12 @ 11:59pm PST. i'll use random.org to select a winner on Friday morning.
good luck!

i'm still alive- just in case you were wondering. & tons of pictures. tons.

2012-01-06T09:33:00.005-05:00

so do you guys remember when i was all: "hooray! back to real life! giveaways & happy things coming your way!"

but then i was all: "...i'm also sick. but it's cool, i can do stuff when i'm sick. i'm amazing!"

but then i was really like: "omg. i'm so sick. i'm going to die. this has to be more than the flu- maybe a new strain..."

you guys- it was terrible. more terrible than a regular flu. so of course i googled...& came up with Meningitis. which fit all my symptoms (cause i'm a Dr & all) & didn't sound too terrible...until i got to this part: "...however, bacterial meningitis infections are extremely serious, and may result in death or brain damage, even if treated."

have i mentioned i'm a wicked hypochondriac? yeah. hardcore. so i had a rough few days where i brought up the fact that we still don't have a will, to the husband, like 20 times.

he told me that i wasn't dying & to shut it so he could watch Sports Center.

for once- he was right. i'm still alive & it was just the flu (although i'm still pretty sure it was like the mega flu or something) ...but we still need to make a will. that one is staying on the "To Do" list.

anyway- so i didn't get around to much this week, besides going to work (yeah, i'm that annoying co-worker), trying to swallow (my throat people- it's on fire) & sweating in my sleep. oh yeah, i also have 2 kids that still needed baths, food & books read to them 1500 times.

but i did manage (last night) to finally upload the rest of my pictures from 2011. i think. at least the important ones.

so today (even though i'm still a bit woozy & swallowing even ice cream feels like razor blades) i'm just going to throw a bunch of pictures your way & call it a week.
but i do promise to get the Mary Kay Giveaway up & running on Monday (it's like $90 worth of stuff people- it's awesome) pretty promise.

ok- so here we go:

remember when we went to the fair? back in oct? yeah.

& then i took this picture of brynn...also in oct.

& then the girls were being adorable outside in their jammies..in oct.

& then brynn turned 1 & i took some pictures of her..

& then alex joined us..

awww- right?

& then brynn had a 1st birthday party (but i'm going to save those for their own post. not because they're amazing pictures (because they're totally not) but because it's only fair.)

so moving on- Christmas! i actually don't think i got any pictures of the girls opening present..i feel like that makes me a semi-horrible parents. but i did get a video...which i don't have. so later.
but i did make them put on dresses & go to church- & that was documented:

see how they're both still & looking around like- "wtf?!" - pretty sure it's because i yelled, "STOP! HAMMER TIME!"

then with dad...

& with mom...

perfect? no way. it was freezing & my children don't listen to me. but that is the 3 of us in the same frame. done.

& remember the "big" Christmas gift i mentioned?

a tee pee. boom.

& an Instagram shot of it:

& in case you were wondering- yes, the lights are still up on it. i think i'll leave them- i like it!
& you know what? i think that's it. for now.
i'm sorry for the overload- but what choice did i have? i had to give you something!

ok- have a fabulous weekend everyone.

merry christmas, happy new year, happy birthday, etc etc etc

2012-01-03T14:50:00.006-05:00

with all of the above looming i decided to take a break from the internet.
no blogging. no facebooking. no pinterest. no message boards.

...ok- that's sort of a lie. i did do all of those things, but minimally. just to stay current (it's amazing how much shit goes down in 1 1/2 week's time).

the husband & i both had the same days off so we spent all of it with our girls. & holy crap it was fun. they're both at a perfect age, 2 &1. everything is new & awesome to them (except broccoli. i tried.) & this was the first year alex actually "got" Christmas.

no matter how much i tried to drill the whole baby Jesus thing home, she still thinks Christmas = presents. but that's normal, right?
the kid loved presents. loved looking at them, opening them, giving them, taking them- everything.
so much in fact that she still asks me for presents on a daily basis.

"mamma, i have present?"
"uh, Christmas is over kiddo. here, have a popsicle."

popsicles = better than presents.

we kept it simple in the bird household this year.
a couple presents for each other & some stocking awesomeness.
fun little things for the girls & 1 BIG present to share. a pretty kick ass teepee. i might actually like it better than they do.

i know telling you this without pictures is like someone saying, "LOOK! there's BIGFOOT!" & you get all stoked to see only to realize that you don't have your glasses on. damnit.

but i'll get pictures up later. because as usual, it's busy time.
i shot a wedding on the 31st & i've got 1500+ pictures to edit.
plus today = first day back to work. oh, & it also = hi. i'm sick.

yes. sore throat. fever. headache. chills. nausea coupled with ravenous hunger. all that neat stuff.

but moving on.
i'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things.

i've got a pretty sweet Mary Kay giveaway coming your way plus a 25% off promise for those that don't win. yay- mom stuff! and non-mom stuff!

i think i equate Mary Kay with mom because that's what my mom used. & i was forbidden to touch it. but there were so many pretty pink bottles that my urge to explore them got the best of me.

and i got spanked.

but we're all grown ups here now. so we can touch whatever we want.

alright. now i have to figure out a way to get home & not go near my children in any way to avoid sick children...

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T00:30:00.000-05:00

And the angel said unto them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men." Luke 2:10-14

well...shit

2011-12-21T14:03:00.004-05:00

On monday night i arrived home & stepped out of the car & heard the sound of rushing water. i was a bit puzzled- mainly because although we do live near some lovely swamps & streams, neither of those = rushing.

so i unlocked the door & went inside- up the stairs- turned on the lights. hmm? checked the bathroom- nothing on. went outside & checked the hoses- closed up tight. weird.
walked downstairs, flipped the light & started freaking out.

water. everywhere. like- a lot. & still rushing?! wtf?!?! i ran back upstairs (let me mention that alex was upstairs flipping the flip out over God knows what) threw on my boots & sloshed downstairs. i checked every plug & drain & EVERYTHING but had no idea what was going on.

when i peeked into alex's room my heart literally sank. lots of water. & the rushing sound was coming from her wall. well damn- how the hell..?!

burst pipe? yes. but shit- what to do?
i canlled the husband IN A PANIC & told him to GET HOME NOW! THE HOUSE IS FLOODING! IT'S GOING TO FLOAT AWAY! IT'S LIKE "UP" BUT NOT NEARLY AS CUTE & ADORABLE & PLANNED OUT!!!!

then i cried. because hello, there was a lot of water in my house & i'm not a mermaid.

then i got brynn & alex settled down (they were both flipping out now- go figure) & waited for the husband.

he got home. went downstairs & looked equally as puzzled. & then- DING DING DING! he figured out that he had to turn some random valve off & the rushing sound stopped. hooray.
but now there is this lake in our basement that we need to deal with.

what to do? call dad? yep. i mean, come on. we're 32 & 27 respectivly & we still call our parents when shit goes wrong.

so off he goes to pick up a Shop Vac & our extra Pack&Play from his parents. he takes alex- thank God because brynn was being a...doll.
so i put her to bed & slosh around in the basement some more. i pick up all the wet things (rugs, blankets, stuffed animals) & throw them in the wash.
I roll out a tarp outside & start hauling up toys to dry.

the husband returns. i set alex up in our room & kiss her goodnight.
he gets stared sucking 60+ gallons of water out of our abode.

i make grilled cheese & curse H2o. it's all i could do really.
blah blah blah.

to sum it up:
- the basement is fine. it's unfinished & it's cement. all of our stuff is in Rubbermaid bins- score.
- alex's room- eh. the floors will dry eventually but we're going to have to replace a wall & obviously the pipe. & by "we" i mean "he". the husband.
he's thrilled- let me tell you.

so meh. all in all it could have been way worse- but it still sucks. a lot.

BUT- the silver lining? alex has slept in our room for the past 2 nights & i must say, i love waking up & seeing her so close. plus, brynn is 5 steps away in her bedroom & i can hear both of them breathing.

it makes my heart happy & i smile wide- even though it's 2am & i should be sleeping.
plus, it's kind of an adventure to put on wellies & slosh around in your basement with your child in tow....kind of. like a shitty adventure.

ah well. it is what it is, yes? yes.
oh- & here's a little bit of what i saw monday night:

no- we don't usually have a reflective floor. not in the least.

splish splash.

picture overload

2011-12-19T08:37:00.003-05:00

the realization that 2012 is 2 weeks away = omgmusteditanduploadallremaining2011pictures.

like right now (ie: last night). @ 9pm.

& then i was like- screw editing. just upload already. so i did- mostly. because when 10pm hits my body shuts down. it's like it just knows that i should be in bed & refuses to perform simple tasks like keeping it's eyes open or moving it's hands. stuff like that.

anyway my goal is to get all 2011 pics off my computer & backed up via flickr before Jan 1st. so that means you guys get to ~~suffer through~~ enjoy way too many shots of my children being children.

like these:

ok- that last one is obviously edited.

and this is hands down my favorite item in alex's closet:

it's a sweater that i snagged for 50% off @ Anthropologie last year.

i remember it well because despite contractions (that would lead to brynn being born not even 8 hours later) i was determined to scour the racks for kick ass duds for my eldest. & when i came across this sweater, which @ 50% off was still an obscene amount of money, i audibly ::squee'd::
the only con? dryclean only. seriously? who drycleans kid's clothing?

...i guess i do. because i have to pick it up from the cleaner's today. boo-ya.

let's see- here are some mom & dad with brynn shots from her birthday. the light was fading & she was fresh up from her nap but we made it happen.

brynn & dadda:

brynn & mamma:

speaking of brynn- i took the girls to the mall on saturday (alone. dumb dumb dumb.) to hit up H&M (meh. it's hit or miss sometimes.) & some lady came up, looked @ brynn & said, "Well hello there handsome! Aren't you just adorable!"

brynn was not aware that she had been mistaken for a boy & graced the woman with a smile.
& now we refer to brynn as "handsome." what can you do?

& that's as far as i got last night.
if you're dying to see more pictures, feel free to take a gander at my latest photography blog update

it's actually a shoot with our nanny & alex's bff. so much cute.
and if you're also dying to "Like" something on FB- feel free to "Like" my page: Like me!

& yes- i'm totally whoring myself out in the quest for more "Likes" & more business...guilty!
i'm weak.
..but it's Christmas, so consider it a present. a present that you don't have to pay for. hooray! free presents!

happy birthday brynn

2011-12-14T07:54:00.003-05:00

well, as of Sat Dec 10th my baby is 1.

she does lots of toddler'esq things. like walk, throw tantrums, hit her sister, drink from a cup, talk (sort of) & etc etc. but she also still does baby'esq things. like take a bottle at night (no idea how to break her of this one) &...oh wait. that's it. damn.

well, she does like to get up & party around 4 am which i do not approve of. i try & let her cry it out- but she's one of those, "i'm going to cry until i throw up" kids & i just can't get down with that.

so i bring her to bed. & she stays up. & kicks me. & slaps me.
so i tell her to "knock it off" & put her back in her crib.
where she screams & throws a fit.
so i bring her back. & we do it all again.

this morning i finally deposited her back in the crib around 5:15 where she SHRIEKED for 5 minutes & then fell back asleep.

then my alarm went off 15 minutes later & i glared at her door as i walked by.
yeah that's right.

then 5 minutes before i had to leave she woke up in a splendid mood, bouncing around in her crib. she's a delight- let me tell you.

but seriously. we love her. she's great.

the party went swell & i'll get those pictures up soon.
but i wanted to get this blip up in case you were wondering if i'd managed to turn back time.

brynn's 1st birthday party is in 3 days

2011-12-07T10:39:00.005-05:00

seeing that i'm not a rocket scientist, i still have not figured out a way to turn back time. so, this being the case, brynn's party will commence in 3 days.

the theme = owls.

this is only because her birthday invite had owls on it. how i plan on actually incorporating them besides the cake? no idea.

this is where you come in- yay for you!

i need party favors. owl cookies? owl...something else? in reality this is really a party for adults since i think there will be all of 4 children there (2 of which are mine) but i still want to send something home with people. preferably something edible- because everyone has to eat.

i was leaning toward owl cookies- but lets be honest- i won't make them. i barely have time to clean the house & slap a cake together, much less cutout sugar cookies & apply royal icing.

maybe i'll just make some cookies, bag them & slap on an owl sticker.

and decorations? psha. this is going on in our tiny little log home. which is already decorated for Christmas. so throwing up a bunch of cutesy owl stuff is even less likely to happen than cookies.
i'll probably grab a few balloons, tie them to her highchair & call it a day.

part of me feels badly that her 1st b-day is so tiny. alex's was big & bad, as was her 2nd. but it was also warm & dry outside for both.

but poor brynn was born in Dec, to parents that own a house in New England with less than 1100 sq ft of living space.

all of those factors = party indoors. party small. party minimal.

tis' life. but it's ok- she knows we love her & everyone there loves her & she'll get a cupcake- so i'm 99.9% sure she'll be alright.
...even if i did tell people, "eh, you don't have to bring her a present. we've got tons of crap already!"

but she doesn't know that. & i'm betting everyone will still bring her something- because seriously, how do you go to a 1year old's party & bring her nothing? hmm? you can't- it's impossible.

i'm glad everyone isn't as heartless as i am.

so yes. party at the bird house on saturday. pizza & cake- yes. party favors & room to stretch- maybe.

30 day shred before pics & green smoothie recipe

2011-12-06T15:04:00.004-05:00

alrighty- here are my 30 Day Shred Before pics (taken on Day#5)

shirtless: (no sucking in. end of the day. my apologies in advance.)

shirt'ed:

stretchmarks & loose skin courtesy of the small child in the bottom pictures. & let's not forget to thank her older sister as well.

weight: no clue
measurements: no clue

i'm going into this blind- except for the fact that i can look in the mirror.

ok- Green Smoothie:

1-2 bananas
1/2 cup frozen mangos
1/2 cup frozen peaches
couple handfuls of spinach
water
ice (if you want it)

toss it all in the blender & watch it come together. i usually user small bananas or 1 large banana. i also use around 1 cup of water & maybe 2-3 pieces of ice. it gives me the perfect amount of thickness to = smoothie & not so thick that it can't make it up the straw.

like i said- delish. & addicting.

ok- the next time you see pictures of me shirtless i hope to God that you can look @ them without wincing. i hope i can too.

oh yes- i started Level 2 last night- omfg. seriously?!

30 day shred update & other stuff

2011-12-05T09:28:00.009-05:00

alright ladies. i'm on day #5.

that should say day #6 but i had to skip friday night because i had my office Christmas party to attend.

i wore a red dress & grey wedges. i did the "no heat curl" thing (again) with my hair & remembered to slap on a coat of mascara.

this is the result:

and because i adore the collar:

ok- here's what you should know. i spend the majority of the night sucking in. like- hardcore. like, if i put as much enery into eating right & working out as i did sucking in, i'd be a Victoria Secret model.

i'm telling you (& myself) this because looks can be deceiving. for the longest time i haven't paid attention to what eat & i haven't worked out because i'll get dressed, suck in & tell myself- "that'll do."

but it's not totally about what i look like. it's about how i feel. & skinny doesn't always = healthy.
i'm tired & lethargic & more often than not my stomach is like- "dude. wtf? eff you. give me salad or something."

and what i am or am not doing has everything to do with that. so yeah.

now don't worry- this is in no way going to turn into a weight loss/working out blog.
because i still abhore manual labor. & i still love sugar & carbs.

but it's true that we only get 1 life & 1 body & we should should probably be like, "hey body? you're cool. & i respect you- so i'm going to try not to abuse the crap out of you anymore. k? sorry about the last few months...my bad. but i pinky swear i'm going to do better. but there will still be cake sometimes...you're welcome."

and that about sums it up.
so yes- day #5.

i'm sore- but not as sore as day #2. or even #3.
i still can't do "real" pushups but i can do the "girlie" ones without too much bitching.
i'm able to get through the entire workout without getting lightheaded (yeah, that may or may not have happened on day#1) & i'm going to move up to level #2 tonight.

as for what i've been eating.
1. the Green Smoothie i mentioned?
it kicks ass. it's SO good & filling. and i feel like Pop-eye with the amount of spinach i'm consuming.
i've made it every morning & i suck it right down. i played with it today & added strawberries instead of mangos. delish.
and a bonus? the girls drink it too! & since i don't push veggies in our house (i know, terrible) i feel really good about sneaking them in via a smoothie.

2. Weight Loss Water?
incredibly refreshing! water + cucumbers + lemon + ginger + mint = crazy good. i have a big container at home & i bring some to work everyday & drink that instead of anything else.

3. i still love cookies, bread, butter, milk, cheese & anything that resembled a cupcake. i just try not to love on them quite as often.

Comments: your comments made me lol.

- 30 Day Shred still in it's shrink wrapped package
- Jillian's "horsey face"
- the green smoothie being "too green"
- epic amounts of cookies & ice cream
- etc etc

i do hope me hopping on the "trying to get healthy" wagon helps inspire those of you looking for inspiration. i'm not even kidding, if i can do it then you can too.
because if you pick up a dictionary & search for the worth "lazy"- you'll find my picture next to it.
so yeah.

in other news- brynn turns 1 on saturday. unacceptable. so this week will be spent trying to figure out how to turn back time. i'll let you know how it goes.

happy monday ladies!

p.s. my dress is from Francesca's Collection & the wedges are from Target

30 day hell

2011-12-01T09:27:00.003-05:00

so the other day as i was walking past the mirror aisle at Target i noticed that my jeans didn't look as super fly as they once did.

at first i assumed that it was because i need new jeans. but upon closer inspection i realized that it wasn't my jeans that were sagging- it was my ass. and thighs. and anything else on my body that has the ability to sag.

i recoiled in horror & then did that thing. you know- that thing every woman does where she stands sideways in the mirror & lifts her butt with her hands.

here! here is where my butt should be.

and then i did the same with my stomach & chest.
lasty- i stood facing the mirror & pulled the jean fabric at the back of my thighs nice & tight.

oh look- there it is- the elusive thigh gap.
release fabric. no thigh gap. le'sigh.

then a store emplyee walked by & caught me fondling myself.
he smartly averted his eyes & kept walking. that's right buddy- move along. this is my aisle.

i turned around & glared at my children. "this is your fault!" i told them.
and it is- kind of. but not really.

see- thanks to my children i now have "battle scars" - i saw this term used in some empowering woman article crap thing so i've decided to use it. battle scars. like a gladiator. a gladiator that gets torn open & bleeds but doesn't die.

if you think about it, that's actually exactely what happens when you have a kid.

BUT- i do get really skinny after pushing them out. like skinny enough that people ask me if i'm eating. skinny enough that i can wear leggings as pants (i know i know- it's a no no).
skinny enough that i can eat whatever i want & not worry about it.
but then i stop breastfeeding & quickly gain 5 pounds. like legit overnight. 5 pounds. bam.

and then 10. and then, my clothes still fit but i should probably consider a pair of Spanx if i want to wear the form fitting dress.

what i'm getting at is that the extra weight & complete lack of toning & upper body strength is all me. my fault. because i love food & i hate exercise. simple as that.

however, after my Target mirror aisle wake up call i mentioned to the husband that i want to work out. go to the gym. sweat. drink water. wear meshy workout clothes. etc etc.

at first he was like, "are you cheating on me?"

to which i replied, "of course. i'm easily able to squeeze in midday trysts with some guy i met at the grocery store. i have all the time in the world for that. duh."

anyway- he said that was all well & good (me working out, not the trysts) - but when? seriously- when? i have no time. not even 1 hour to slip away to the gym. & that's the honest truth.
i work all day- get home. take care of the girls. the husband gets home at 7. girls go to bed. we eat. now it's 9pm. and only crazy people work out at 9pm & later.

crazy insane people who have a gap between their thighs.

so i was bummin' & then i ate a bunch of cookies & drank Bailey's. for like 4 days. epic.

then yesterday at work i was like- "eff this!" if i'm not knocked up i'm going to be in shape. or at least be able to walk up the stairs without considering the need for an oxygen tank.

so i got home. took care of children. put one child to bed & waited until i saw the husband's truck light in the driveway.

then i rolled out my mat, picked up my 3 pound weights & took a deep breath.

Hello Jillian. how are you? look at you. all in shape. thigh gap. flat stomach. abs. weird face (i'm sorry- it's true). other in shape stuff. cool workout digs. let's dance.

and we did. for 20 minutes Jillian & i had a connection. there were a few interruptions- like alex stealing my weights & pitching a fit because i wasn't paying attention to her. but after the husband realized i was serious (ie: i'm not stopping to control our child), he sighed loudly & took her downstairs.

20 minutes later i was a pile of jelly. Jillian signed off & i dragged my ass to the kitchen & drank water like a dying man in the desert. my hand was shaking a little & some water trickled down my chin.

it was all very dramatic.

then i ate a cookie. for energy. i'm weak.

but yeah. Day 1 of the 30 Day shred = complete. tonight = Day 2. tomorrow, Day 3 & etc etc.
i'm going to do it. because i really don't have any other options.

on top of that- i'm attempting to eat healthy. right? i know, it kind of sucks. a lot. but it's not all bad.
an apple instead of chips. ideal? no. better? yes. i guess. i add a smidge of peanut butter & i get my salty fix.
water instead of juice. this actually isn't bad. i squirt in some Mio & i'm good to go.
oatmeal instead of a muffin. i love oatmeal & it's cold out now. so i'm down.
carrot sticks instead of cookies? not gonna happen. ever. sorry. but at least i only eat 2 cookies istead of 4.

and the list goes on. i'm also adding on the Green Monster Smoothie (i'm sure you've seen it on Pinterest. it's supposed to be the bomb.) & some Weight Loss Water to my daily routine.

i'm excited. i don't expect to look like a mirror body image of Jillian...ok, yes i do...but i do expect to look better in 30 days.

i guess i should take before & after pictures. so that's my goal tonight. before pictures. & straightening my hair- because my office Christmas party is tomorrow & i need to maximize my time so i can attempt to look presentable.

and that's what's up.

so tell me- do you work out? do the 30 day shred? PDX90? lift your butt in the Target mirror aisle?

Canvas4Life Giveaway Winner

2011-11-28T10:51:00.002-05:00

according to Random.org, 6 is the perfect #

& #6 =

Hooray for Leslie! & hooray for 70's porno mustaches!

shoot me an email with your address & i'll get your gift card right out to you!

give thanks

2011-11-24T10:55:00.003-05:00

"Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

~ Ephesians 5:20

I think that about sums it up- yeah? short & sweet.

thank you Lord.

have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Canvas4Life Review/Giveaway

2011-11-22T14:10:00.005-05:00

who'd like to take a gander at our Christmas photo for this year?

that's right. all 4 of us looking in the same direction at the same time. incredible. thank you Photoshop.

now, who'd like to see this picture on canvas?

...and i figured i'd take one outside for good measure

awesome right? the folks over at Canvas4Life did a killer job putting this photo on canvas. the colors are spot on & the canvas is beautiful.

now i just have to figure out where to hang it. living in a log cabin = a lack of legit wall space.

it's a cross i bear.

so back to the canvas- it's awesome. and i feel like everyone should have a favorite photo on canvas. it's big (or small if you want), pretty & it's a nice change from framed prints.

canvas' also = a kick ass Christmas gift.

"Merry Christmas mom & dad!"

"oh dearest child- what ever could this be? another framed picture for our walls?"

"sort of...open it."

"well ok...why, what's this? oh it's beautiful! you're our new favorite!"

bazinga.

see? total present winner.

with that above scenario still playing in your mind- why don't you head on over to Canvas4Life & look at all the different options. tons of different sizes & what not (fyi: my canvas = 16x20)

and if you do happen to order one- take off 10% by using the promo code trinabird.

Happy Merry Christmas Holiday Hanukkah Kwanzaa to you.

aaaaand, i'm also giving away a $20 Canvas4Life gift card! this is the part that all of you were probably waiting for.

all you have to do is leave a comment telling me what picture you're most likely to put on your canvas- your kid? your dog? yourself? Obama? (who knows, maybe Michelle reads this. just sayin')

just make sure you leave your comment by Fri Nov 25th @ 11:59 PST

i'll announce the winner on Mon Nov 28th & pop your gift card in the mail (you'll have 24 hours to email me your info)

good luck! and again, for those of you that don't win remember that you still have a 10% promo code at your disposal: promo code trinabird

disclaimer: Canvas4Life didn't pay me or anything. they simply said, "hey do you want a canvas?" & i was all like, "hellz yeah!" & they were all like, "ok cool. when you get it- put it on your wall & tell us what you think. bam."
and so i have. that's it. nothing fishy going on here.

this week

2011-11-21T10:56:00.005-05:00

i'm going to start by giving you guys a little present:

twinkle light pictures for the win.
i wish i could fully make you understand how evil taking these pictures were.

the plan was to setup, convince children to smile with m&m's & marshmallows, snap pictures, edit pictures & pat myself on the back for a job well done.

20 mintutes tops. right?
wrong. so wrong.

setup alone took a good 40 minutes thanks to my tiny house. also, children seem to have a fascination with anything they're not allowed to touch. like setup stands. light. white blankets (for the love of God- do NOT touch that white blanket with your toddler hands). etc etc.

eventually i set up & attempted to wrangle them in. i shook a bowl of m&m's in front of their faces (much like you would do with a puppy) & this got their attention. but said attention was soley focused on getting m&m's (& marshmallows for brynn) into their mouths.

"alex, smile!"
"no! more?"
"ok- but only if you smile..."
"...no...::lip shakes, eyes fill up, tears flow::"
"ok ok- fine. here! see? m&m is yummy! please stop crying!"
::happy alex. unhappy me::

bribery fail.

and brynn- she was actually a little better. but she just kept moving. you know, like babies do. the nerve.

eventually i called it & they somehow got their hands on the entire bowl of candy/marshmallows.

we won't discuss that.

out of 100+ shots i got those 2 up there. both girls clearly have marshmallows in their mouths & brynn's smile can only just be called that. barely.

but whatever. i did it. i win. go me.

in other news. it's Thanksgiving week. i have the rest of the week "off".
i'm stoked for an addtl 4 days with the girls. i'm also wary that they've already devised a plan to make me question ever taking time off again.

we shall see.

so this week is going to be filled with playing, diapers, milk, Yo Gabba Gabba, baking, cooking, pictures, naps & attempting to reason with 2 little girls.

i'll also be doing a sweet Canvas4Life review/giveaway. think, Christmas gift ideas...score.

happy Monday!

you understand- right?

2011-11-14T11:23:00.006-05:00

it's been over a week since i last updated.

if i told you i'm cringing over that fact would you forgive me?

i'm not gonna lie- i looked down at my calendar last week & i couldn't believe it was already wednesday. then friday. then...my bad.

you've all heard my excuses- i'm tired. tired. tired. busy. sick. so much to do. tired some more. work. play. errands. more sick. diaper rash- etc etc. so i'm just going to recycle all of those. because once again:

- we are battling a diaper rash. i cannot wrap my head around a child sitting in a poopy diaper long enough to aquire a rash. but that's what went down on friday. the husband picked up the girls (from my in law's) & when brynn started screaming, not even 30 min after they go home, & i took a gander in her diaper- ugh. so much red. so sore. her poor little butt.
i was furious. in fact, i'm still annoyed. i do understand that rashes happen- but come on. so this weekend had me watching for every poop & pee & running around cleaning up after the trail my diaperless 11 month old left.

it's better today. but the girls are at my mother's (another location where rashes seem to occur) & all i can do is hold my breath for a bottom that look at least the same, if not better.

- i am truly busy. i've had a couple of shoots (yay) among other things & plus it's hunting season. which means many hours sitting in the woods doing God knows what (the husband- not me) which leaves me with the girls. which is fine. but busy.

- the holidays are fast approaching. this means cooking, baking, making gifts (i'm cheap this year), getting cards ordered, cleaning, etc etc

- brynn's 1st birthday is also coming. it's going to be small but still- cards to order, a meal to plan, a cake to bake. the works.

- life crap. we (or should i say the husband) own a condo aside from our home. we couldn't sell it when we bought our house so the husband's brother moved in with the intention of renting it until he could buy it. long story short- that didn't work out. a year later, my father moved in- but rent free. finally we decided we needed rent- so my younger brother moved in last month & we thought we were good.
...yeah. not so much. now he can't pay. so out he goes. and once again we're left with paying another mortgage.
so now i'm rushing to replace the carpets, clean & update & hopefully get this place rented out to someone who IS NOT family.
paying 2 mortgages + childcare (which = more than our mortgage) is NOT fun. at all. in fact, it's downright depressing & slightly stressful.

- the list goes on.

i'm really not complaining (well, perhaps a tad) but sometimes i just want to sit down & not have to worry about anything. work, bills, children, husband, life, cars, animals, other people...

but that's not how things work. so i pull up my bootstraps & make time & energy for everything.

then again- looking back at my list- should i really even be complaining at all? so many people are dealing with so many more things. things that i can't even imagine or being to try & comprehend. some of the things i mentioned aren't even "bad" things.

the holidays? those are wonderful. just busy.
so should that be something that tires & annoys me? probably not.
but am i tired & annoyed? yes.

goodness- now i feel guilty.
perhaps you should disregard everything you just read because in all reality- my life is wonderful. & normal. & full of so much. even if that "so much" does include exhaustion & way too much laundry.

and this, people, is how my brain works 24/7. wavering bwtween guilt & justification. frustration & happiness. contentment & selfishness.
i'm not the only one- am i?

i'm going to blame this random rambling entry on the fact that brynn kept me up until 12:30 this morning. & i had to be up by 4. yeah- you do the math.

anyway- if you've made it through the above, here is a gift for you eyes.

i had a shoot @ the most beautiful location this past weekend.

right? ok. i feel a little better now.

the girls

2011-11-04T16:12:00.000-04:00

happy weekend

a few things i'm excited about

2011-11-02T11:46:00.009-04:00

#1. Breaking Dawn

it's no secret that i'm a Twi-hard.
bad writing & lameness aside- these books sucked me in from the get go. i read all 4 in 3 days. i barely slept & i got irrationaly angry & sad at all the right moments. when i closed the final book i cursed Stephanie Meyers for what she had done to me.

vampires? real & hot? able to sparkle, run faster than light & resist their desires for human blood?

no way. but...maybe? omg. ::squee::

i proudly proclaim myself Team Jacob & have no qualms over standing in line at the theater, dressed in sensible jeans, a fleece jacket & Dansko clogs; all the while surrounded by 100+ 12 year old girls in copious amounts of eyeliner & skintight black clothing.

while they giggle about how hot & smoldering Edward is i'm thinking "bish please. you wouldn't know what to do with him if he came with a manual."

...not that i would either (or want to, because hello, i'm married. duh) because let's be honest- vampires are cold & bloodless right? so how do...certain "things" actually even happen? i mean, i took sex ed & i know a little bit about the human body & things aren't adding up.
i am well aware that a bed or 2 is broken, feathers go flying, bella blushes & a horribly named little vampire/human girl is conceived - but if we want to get technical...NO! nevermind- let's just let certain things remain a mystery.

these books had me embracing my inner teen & all 3 movies have allowed me 2 hours each of uninterrupted made up shit bliss.
so i cannot wait for 11.18.11 (well, let's be realistic & make that 11.26, maybe later. because i'm too old & tired to go to opening night & then it's Thanksgiving week & i have to be a mature adult & roast a turkey while rolling out dough for a pumpkin pie. so yeah, let's just say sometime in late November- yay!)

#2: The Hunger Games

this is another semi-teen series that had me holding my breath, choosing sides & wiping away tears. though not nearly as lame as overly attractive vampires with hearts of gold- i still have to admit that these are way below an adult reading level...and i love them.

i polished off the series in 2 days (because i have a job & kids & blah blah blah) & crowed with delight when i discovered that they would be making them into a movie.
then they started putting out promo posters & cast interviews- and it's like Twilight all over again.
i.can.not.wait.

p.s. i'm team Peeta. all the way.

#3. Brynn turning 1

just kidding. i refuse to believe my child is almost a "toddler". ignorance is bliss & i'm going to embrace said ignorance & cling to my baby.

#4. Thanksgiving

family togetherness & thankful thoughts. good thoughts & wishing people well. yadda yadda. whatevers.
the truth is, i'm excited because i love turkey. i also love mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie & cranberry sauce...and eating so much food that it's really not ok but it kinda is because IT'S THANKSGIVING YA'LL!

#5. Decorating for Christmas & listening to Christmas Music.

i've made a vow (for the husband's sake) that i'll do neither until after Thanksgiving. so at the crack of dawn on Nov 26th i'll be throwing down with some tinsel & Christmas tree lights.
bring it.

and that's it. for now.

more power to you...or not.

2011-10-31T14:17:00.004-04:00

i just wrote a long (and witty if i do say so myself) blog post about the snowstorm- lack of power- melting snow for water (and it being akin to being a true pioneer- until the husband shot that down with his "true pioneers didn't melt snow on their gas stoves & tell their other true pioneer friends about it via iPhone" speach- blah blah. see? it was funny)- brynn throwing up like it was her job on saturday night- playing at the mall Play Zone- winning the Dip & Jack-O-Lantern contest at my work- getting power back- etc etc etc

& Blogger ate it. eff. i'm not writing it all out again- because i forget about 95% of it. so i'll just post our weekend via iPhone:

2 pictures about 1 hour before it started snowing:

and then this:

my contest winning dip (Pumpkin Dip & Buffalo Chicken Dip):

(homemade chewy ginger snaps + green apples = killer dipping options for the pumpkin dip)

and our mature Jack-O-Lantern contribution (also contest winning):

not nearly as informative & amusing as the first post- but i suppose it'll have to do.

what we wore

2011-10-24T07:50:00.003-04:00

it's been awhile since we've done a "what we wore" session.
this is not because we've taken to walking around naked- no worries- but more so because both girls refuse to look or smile at me when i have my camera in hand.

apparently this can be explained mathematically.

mommy + camera - (time + cute clothes) + cute shoes - (dirt x throwup) - poop / combed hair = no smiles²

does that look right? we've already been over the fact that math & i don't see eye to eye so that's the best i can do. i think everything adds up though.

thankfully, sunday found us partaking of breakfast at a neat little place up in Mason, NH (NH people- Parker's Maple Barn = kick ass) & the lovely fall weather + being outside & out of their element = "i suppose we'll grace mother with a smile."

Alex:

as you can see she is holding on to two of her favorite things in life: Foofa & a SpongeBob Squarepants sippy cup. God help us if either is lost or forgotten. God. help. us.

sweater: Missoni for Target
t-shirt: Target
jeggings: Target
shoes: Missoni for Target

Brynn:

this child is pure magic. she is the most smiley, snuggly, sweetest child in the history of the world. random strangers get leg hugs & mega watt smiles thanks to this kid. a polar opposite of her older sister.

cardigan: Zutano (thrifted)
pants: Target
socks: BabyLegs
shoes: Shoo Shoes

+ mommy:

i think this picture makes it seem like i'm sporting a Jersey Shore'esque tan + hair highlights.
i promise you i am not guilty of either. i'm also not 100% sure what's going on- lets blame it on the lighting. and the fact that my husband took the picture.

my clothes: really? i don't think anyone is chomping at the bit for this look.

once again- a rare picture of the 3 of us = one child looking slightly maniacal & the other looking lost. seriously precious.

happy monday people.

it never ends

2011-10-20T14:17:00.007-04:00

last night was spent watching a 2 year old puke up the contents of her stomach onto a shaggy white rug (she wasn't sick- she was pissed) & then attempting to clean her up via a container of wipes (a bath was out of the question)

add to that an hour of rocking her (on my knees) & then another hour of reasoning with her (in an attempt to get her to sleep), plus a screaming session with the husband in regards to God knows what (seriously, i'm still clueless) & lastly skipping dinner (because it was late & i was tired) only to be woken up hours later by my stomach cramping with both hunger & the telltale signs of an unwelcomed monthly guest.

horrible.

i'd like to add that last night was supposed to be my "catch up" night. update this & my food blog. finish pictures. figure out costumes. etc etc etc.

needless to say- none of those things occured. so today i'm just tired & i smell faintly of vomit.

but i can still catch up just a bit:

brynn is 10 months old (this is so late):

and always on the move.

and alex is 2. terribly, wonderfully, brilliantely 2.

and they are starting to get along a little better...

...but only a little.

and sometimes all of the above is just too much. bittersweet.

i have vivid memories of many things. good, bad, so-so.

i can still smell the sweet grass that i used to lie hidden in when i was 10 years old. at the top of a hill i can clearly see the blue sky filled with puffy clouds & i can still feel the rough ground under my palms.

i can clearly recall the silent thrill that rippled through me knowing that i was completely hidden from anyone or anything that might happen to walk by. i can see the thoughts that formed in my brain- how i envisioned simply lying there forever. it was warm. i was happy. the world was simple & it would be so easy to do just this. i watched ants drag grains of sand to their anthill. i listened to crickets & envied the birds that flew overhead.

occasionally i would peak my head out of my hideaway only to quickly pull myself back in the off chance that i might be seen (mainly be my annoying brothers). i'd settle myself back down & spend the next few hours drifting between sleep & daydreams. what a wonderfully endless day.

but then it got darker. my mom called & i knew it was time to head inside. so i got up, brushed myself off and walked down our long driveway as slowely as i could. savoring perfection.

& i can recall being 14 & on a summer mission trip that i thought would never end. a trip that i didn't want to end. i had friends. we were halfway around the world. there was a pretty cool boy in my group (that i sort of, kind of liked- but maybe not really?) i was having the time of my life.

but then the end of august came & it was time to go home. & i cried.

then i was 17 & thrown into the adult world. college. away from home. new friends. boys. girls. temptations. responsibilities.

this was the greatest time yet. it was august & i had 9 months away from home & in a whole new world. 9 months is a long time. surely it would last forever.

but that ended too. as did 19 & 20 & 21.
then i got married (hooray). we went to hawaii. had THE best time. 2 whole weeks.

...& you guessed it. that ended too. (not my marrige- hawaii. whew!)

but it was different. i was finally old enough to realize that good things do end eventually. but then something else comes along. there is always something. so i became more accepting. ok- time flies. i can deal.

then we decided to have a baby. & time seemed to stand still. the one time that i was willing it forward.
negative after negative after negative.
month after month.

then 2 lines. hooray- once again time is on our side.

10 months of knowing that i was the sole lifesource of another human being. & i again found myself wanting it to last forever. like when i was 10.
i was so eager to meet my daughter, yes- but on the same token i was in no way ready to share her with the world.

but nature doesn't care. eventually she made her exit & while i rejoiced in her arrival, i also mourned the loss of what we had. once that cord was cut our relationship became something new. different.

but that's how things work. are you seeing a pattern here?

she cooed. she lifted her head. she rolled. she sat up. she crawled. she walked.

& i saw time quickly slipping away from me. happily but also with a touch of sadness.

& then we did it again. another miracle. 10 more months. sudden labor, a prompt entrance into the world & another cord cut.

coos. crying. snuggles. all of the above all over again.

& here i sit. a 2 year old & a 10 month old. where has the time gone?
i watch them grow & i find myself wanting to freeze time. the right now is perfect. it's so perfect that there is no way it can end, right? i can be 10 through them, can't i?

but i know better. & that's why it's hard to accept. but i'm trying- because it is what it is.
so i try & focus on right now.
i'm not going to think about 1st grade, 4th grade, 8th grade, graduation, boys, friends, highschool, college, marrige, jobs, the real world, marrige, their own children.....

because it literally makes my heart hurt. in a happy way- but i'm nowhere near ready.
so while i'm well aware that time doesn't really stand still- i'm going to pretend anyway. pretend that i'm 10. and live for the now.

except that i'm a 10 year old with a job. and kids. and things a real 10 year old doesn't have to worry about.

but you know what i mean.

i'm back

2011-10-17T11:11:00.002-04:00

i'm pretty sure you've all been wracking you're brains trying to figure out where i'd run off too. no blogging for an entire week?! so unlike her! where ever could she be?!

...

i say this assuming that everyone who reads this blog takes time during their day to wonder about my well being...right?

don't answer that.

word up. i'm ok. however i did spend the week doing the following:
- being sidelined with a nasty cold.
- being sidelined with my children who also had a nasty cold.
- being sidelined with the husband who also had a nasty cold.
(are you seeing a theme here?)
- battling a gnarly diaper rash (brynn).
- running around (ie: working) more than i anticipated.
- a late night trip to Urgent Care (for above diaper rash).
- up all night(s) with a 10 month old who was rejecting sleep.
- exhaustion.

you name it. i did it. it was a week that makes me tired just thinking about it. and i was tired- in real life. tired enough that i feel asleep at my desk on thursday.

fell. asleep. at. my. desk.

i woke up- looked around..and fell back asleep. i couldn't help it.
then i downed a Coke & willed myself to respond to the caffeine.

it sort of worked. but then all the tired came back when i picked up 2 little girls that were full of energy. dear God. what is up with children?! why are they so...awake? all. the. time.

i took them home. bathed them. bribed them with several popsicles & put them to bed.
"tomorrow night will be better." i said to myself.
"i'll get home. we'll play. we'll eat dinner. go to bed late...yay. fun stuff. i'm a cool mom."

nope. friday night = a trip to the Urgent Care for a diaper rash that wouldn't quit. poor brynn.
dx = yeast rash. hooray yeast. (did i mention we just dropped $600 taking the dogs to their yearly vet appts to also hear that they had yeasty ear infections? this is my glamorous life people.)

when i told the husband he was all like- "what's up with the yeast?!" good question. i have no idea. i'd say yeast can kiss my ass. but then i'd probably end up with my own yeast affliction...and i'd rather not.

thankfully the weekend was brighter. colds got better. bums looked better (after lots of airing out. which means a 10 month old walking around sans a diaper for most of the day. which means lots of pee puddles. and pee puddle splashing. and pee on my pants. and forgetting about the pee on my pants & wearing them to church the next day & sitting there wondering why i smell urine. looking around, side eyeing people, only to realize that it's me. i smell like urine...then looking around again & hoping that noone picks today to try & make friends with me...)

a photo shoot on saturday revived me. the weather was perfect & the kids were models.
i came home, put children to bed & waved farewell to the husband who was on his way out the door to attend a party.
i edited pictures for 2 hours & went to bed. in silence. it was glorious.

sunday = church, footballs, monkey bread, another diaperless baby day, happy children, naps- the works.

today i'm feeling better. still tired- but more human.
there was a highlight last week, The Hunger Games.

2 words. those books are kick ass.

i'm also bad at math. we've discussed this before.

but whatever. i picked up all 3 books & read them in 3 days. much like Twilight- i couldn't put them down & i found myself dreaming about them. they were my little nugget of happy.

but now i'm focused on this week.
- getting up pictures of alex's room
- finish editing pictures
- clean my house (or perhaps hire someone to do that)
- a birthday party on saturday (for the girls)
- other important things (adult stuff)
- a serious post??? yes. i'll try.

and etc etc.

flashback friday

2011-10-07T13:18:00.003-04:00

alex a year ago:

brynn a year ago:

lol.

and i didn't forget to take pictures of alex's room...but i did forget to upload them to my computer & all that jazz. but technically since i just promised to TAKE pictures (not SHARE them) i'm not a liar.

next week. along with some updated pictures of the girls- because i have been slacking hardcore.

now- those of you in New England- go thee & enjoy your weekend. outdoors.
there are rumors of 75-80 degree weather. in October. in New England.

this is crazy ass weather that needs to be embraced. because you KNOW in 3 weeks when it's 35 degrees outside you're going to start wishing from sping...and summer...and etc etc. so go. now.

and lastly- book recs. i need them. The Hunger Games? Harry Potter? tell me what i need to pick up- i need to get my book on.

gracias.

alex's 2nd birthday & other things

2011-10-03T11:41:00.005-04:00

first though- a then & now

last year:

this year:

as you can see i had to fight with alex in order to get a picture.

"alex, smile! look at daddy!"
" NO WANNA! WANT GO! FOOFA!"

damnit kid. make a note that it was dark, raining, the light inside the tent was broken & the stupid cow was empty (last year we got to "milk" it)- not ideal picture taking conditions.

never the less- we managed to capture the 3 of us in frame & that works for me.

another Deerfield Fair come & gone. good riddance.

time to backtrack- alex's 2nd birthday. i didn't get a ton of pictures because i was trying to actually be part of her party- but i snagged a few for memory sake:

the theme was Charlotte's Web- but that sort of morphed into a Farm/Fair theme. meh. we had a tent & fair food & hay bales & farm animals (well, chickens) & that'll do pig.

the tent: (last minute rental thanks to the rain)

the food:

(pre filled mason jars = genius)

the setups (s):

(the cotton candy machine was a big hit)

the birthday girl (& friends):

(these were literally the most flattering pictures i got of her all day- she was a hot mess)

(internet friend meeting = yay!)

and there you go. thankfully it didn't actually rain at all during the party- but the tent was still nice to have. and no need for chairs if you've got hay bales- those worked out perfectly.
simple food & drink & coloring books & stickers for the kids.

it was pretty low key & we had around 25-30ish people. the actual party ran from 11-2 & that was a good amount of time for little girls who skipped naps.

but afterwards i decided that alex & brynn each get a 1 & 2 year party- then that's it. no more parties until 1st grade (or somewhere in that age range)- even small parties = exhaustion.

lastly- i had a photoshoot this weekend with someone who reads my blog (remember when i was offering free sessions? people took me up on that- woot.)
when she opened the door & i introduced myself she said, "I feel like I already know you from reading your blog!"

oh snap. i was feeling pretty good about that until i managed to drop my camera bag & appear somewhat insane when i couldn't stop babbling about God knows what.
but she didn't kick me out of her house- so i took that as a good sign.

she introduced me to her angelic children (seriously- they were like perfection) & i filled my camera's memory card within 2 hours.

as i was leaving i said something to the effect of "I'd love to say we should hang out but I'm not sure when that's going to happen..."

as soon as i said it i realized how rude i sounded. it's not that i didn't think she was worthy of hanging out with (in fact, that is the very opposite of what i was thinking) it was more so, "i think you're super & i'd love to hang out & i'd love to say i'll call you but i literally have no time to do anything ever!"

i quickly started babbling again, trying to explain this- but i think she understood what i was, horribly, trying to say & very kindly invited me to her daughter's 2nd birthday party.

whew. ok- unitentional offending averted.
she gave me a hug (i was pretty sweaty from taking pictures- so S, if you're reading this, i'm not usually that sweaty. i swear.) a bottle of wine & sent me on my way.

this just proves that i might sound pretty kick ass online (right?) but i can be awkward. painfully awkward- until you get to know me. then you'll be like- "holy crap! she's so kick ass in real life!!!"

i put up a sneak peak on my FB page (which you're totally allowed to go & "Like" by the way) & i'm excited to finish editing & get her session up on my website.

...right- and also as i was leaving she kindly reminded me that i promised to put up pictures of alex's big girl room & i never did.

for shame. she's right. so i need to do that.
i'm going to take pictures this week- i promise. pretty promise.

today's PSA brought to you by...

2011-09-27T11:32:00.004-04:00

Nerdy Shirts.com

in case you didn't know:

things i like about this picture:

1. the stating of the obvious
2. the fact that i just inhaled 6 cookies isn't completely obvious...or is it?
3. that 3 people at work have already stopped- pointed at my ~~boobs~~ shirt & said, "oh i love that!"
4. that the awesome folks over @ Nerdy Shirts sent this to me ages ago & have been kind enough not to hate me for taking my sweet ass time to blog about how much i do (or even do not) love it- gracias NS!

sooo yes- if you're looking for a nerdy shirt for that nerdy person in your life (in my case- myself) then take a gander at what Nerdy Shirts has to offer.

i'm not usually a graphics t wearing kind of girl- but i love the retro look & my kids love the rainbow- so it's a win win.

disclaimer: Nerdy shirts didn't pay me or anything. they simply said, "hey do you want a shirt?" & i was all like, "hellz yeah!" & they were all like, "ok cool. when you get it- wear it & tell us what you think. bam."
and so i have. that's it. nothing fishy going on here.

9 months old

2011-09-21T09:36:00.003-04:00

this may or may not be almost 2 weeks overdue...maybe.

9 months old.

and walking. straight up across the living room into the kitchen walking.

but still crawling when it suits her. like, to chase the chickens & such.
she's sort of on her way to being a toddler- that is crazy talk. i've said it before- i don't judge Michelle Duggar for popping out 20+ kiddos. they grow so fast.

i. need. baby.

and then i have another child- one that will be 2 in 3 days.
that's right- 2.

2. years. old.

blows my mind.

...or maybe it doesn't. because i think the above is a pretty good example of what 2 year olds do. licking trees & things of that nature.

top: thrifted
jeggings: Target
shoes: Toms

said almost 2 year old's party this saturday is going to be a blast...in the rain. because that's what up. rain rain rain. for an outdoor party.

thank you amazon for allowing me to purchase a party tent & ship it to my house in 1 day.
amen.

pictures + pictures + more pictures

2011-09-16T12:12:00.006-04:00

it's time for picture overload- i apologize in advance.

Cakes + Cupcakes + Wedding Decor (i made the cakes/cupcakes for my friend's wedding)

the dessert table

red velvet with cream cheese frosting

coconut cupcakes with coconut buttercream & toasted coconut

tiramisu cupcakes dusted with cocoa powder

the surprise mini cake: vanilla & red velvet layers with vanilla bean buttercream frosting & marshmallow fondant flowers

decorations- here are some adorable things that i loved

tissue paper pom poms & paper lanterns

an amazing fabric wall (they got married in front of this)

a typewriter for leaving sweet notes for the bride & groom

THE most gorgeous flowers & a painted Mason Jar (i made her this as well)

and they ended the night by sending off these amazing paper lanters- it was so awesome & beyond fun

and the lodge @ night

she put up bunting, streamers, candles- the works. it was gorgeous! hands down one of my favorite weddings!

moving on- i think i've been slacking in regards to pictures of the girls. brynn turned 9 months old last week & i still have to get that picture up here.

but- i managed to snag a few shots of the girls in their new Toke shoes! the owner of Toke USA came across my blog, spotted alex wearing a pair of their shoes & sent me the sweetest email along with 2 pairs of shoes for the girls!

the ::squee:: i made was epic

dresses: Tea Collection
shoes: c/o Toke

it's comical to me that i can take pictures of other people's children- but getting my own in a picture together is nearly impossible. and getting them to look at me? no. never.

and let's cap this off with a couple Instagram pics

homemade oatmeal cream pies (omg is right)

missoni for target (my limited selections)

i also updated my photography blog with my 2 latest sessions. now if i could only manage to book some more...

when the sessions were free my email inbox was full- but once i added prices...nada.
i do get it- free is always better, but it is a bit disheartening.

we'll see i suppose.

have a great weekend!

Missoni for Target- bitches be crazy!!!

2011-09-13T12:25:00.006-04:00

did anyone else stop into their local Target to take a peak at the Missoni for Target collection?
did anyone else see bare racks & shelves at 9 o'clock in the am?
did anyone else see crazy women running around dumping entire racks of Missoni duds into their carts while yelling into their cell phones- "OMG GIRL! THIS STUFF IS AWESOME! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?!"

did anyone else pick up the last Missoni Tote bag off of the rack & then look around & realize that 10 other women are staring you down with what can only be described as pure envy & loathing in their eyes.

did you then clasp that tote to your chest & stutter an apology?

because i did.

i'm also 99% sure that every single one of those fashionable women were taking in my boat shoes, rolled up jeans & black t-shirt & wondering what the hell i was thinking even touching quasi designer duds. does she really think she can pull that off? puh-lease!

oy.

i, just like most other, love designers for Target. you get some trendy stuff at an affordable price & you walk around feeling pretty good about yourself. i heard about the Missoni for Target line & i had my eye on a couple things so i marked my calendar with a little reminder to stop in this morning.

i walked in & noticed zig zag & chevron galore. sweaters half off hangers, scarves strewn about, blankets & bedding in crumpled up piles, shoes everywhere. what the hell had happened in here?!

i gingerly made my way through the destruction & manged to grab the flats that i'd stopped in for. literally- those were the only things i wanted.

and for alex:

the little girls section was quiet so i snuck down there & snagged 2 pieces for the girls. that's it- 2 pieces.

i eyed a pretty serving platter but quickly put it back- $20 says i'll never use it.

i did try on an interesting sweatshirt...but quickly took it off because the velor & zig zags were making my head hurt.

i fingered an ok sweater that i momentarily considered snagging- then i dropped it when i saw the $49 price tag. um- no.

i wound up with 2 pairs of flats (one for me, one for alex), 2 articles of clothing (for the girls) & the ever loving tote bag.

i took my meager haul up to the register & had to pick my jaw up off the floor as i watched the lady in front of me swipe her card for over $500 for a bunch of, frankly, ostentatious attire.

the girl checking her out didn't seem phased. i'm assuming this kind of spending was the norm. she gave me a tired smile & then arched her eyebrow at my less than impressive collection of things.

i am pleased to announce that everything fit into one bag. even the tote.

i walked out & sprinted to the safety of my vehicle. whew.

so- Missoni for Target. my opinion? eh. most of it is busted- lots of multi colored chevron & weird material. i'm honestly not sure how anyone can pull it off.

the children' stuff IS cute- because little girls look adorable in just about anything & the chevron flats will add a really cute pop to a simple outfit.

as for that tote bag- the tote bag that i may or may not have risked my life for- i think i'll probably return it. i only grabbed it on a whim & then held onto it in order to avoid causing a riot. i'm a good person like that- a peace keeper if you will.

you're welcome Target.

and we're off

2011-09-09T10:47:00.005-04:00

i promised to be back yesterday- that was obviously not a good thing to promise since it didn't happen.

bad bad bad.

however- i'm back today & i'd like to point your attention in the direction of my new website:

Trina Bird Photography

i wrapped it up pretty late last night so a few tweaks & a bit more streamlining is needed- but considering the amount of shoots i have coming up, i needed to get it Live.

so i promise an "About Me" section soon & i promise the slideshow will look prettier. but for now- it's not half bad (in my humble opinion)

it technically = my photography website & my photography blog all in one. for the business side of things. read: something that'll make me some extra cash

this blog is still my baby & will still be updated & filled with pictures of my spawn on a regular basis. i just needed some separation & professional...ness.

you're welcome to follow the photo blog & comment & etc. i LOVE hearing from you gals (guys?) and everyone likes a little encouragement- right?

so there it is. all my hard work. my eyes are watery & my butt is sore from sitting in front of my computer- but hopefully it'll be worth it!

p.s. the no heat curl thing got a few "ZOMG HOW!?" requests: No Heat Curls. seriously easy & awesome.

i'm back

2011-09-07T13:43:00.004-04:00

i feel like a very bad blogger. i think we're going on 2 weeks since a post with any substance. for shame.

but in my defense- i've been away. and quite busy. so yeah- it's ok- yes?

but let's catch up.
- a week off from work
- 24 hours without power thanks to Irene
- birdesmaid in my friend's wedding
- bake 150+ cupcakesfor said friend's wedding
- bake a cake for said friend's wedding
- did i mention said friend's wedding was in NY? and we drove there? sans the children?
- clean, pack, iron, wash hair, wash clothes, pack some more, prep babies, prep in-laws, prep friends who will be watching my spawn...etc etc
- drive. sleep. pee. get gas. drive. drink. pee some more. get more gas....you get the idea

however we survived. as did the girls & my best friends who watched the girls for the 1st day (said friends have decided they never want children. ever. never ever.)

i slammed out 150+ cupcakes & a surprise cake for the bride & groom. i managed to put my dress on & not spill anything on it. i managed to sweat all over my body (people, it was HOT) but still keep my minimal makeup in tact. i managed to get kick ass no heat curls (thank you Pinterest):

right?
i sort of want to do this daily. or at least weekly. except for the fact that the hairband almost cut off all the circulation to my face- but that could be the fault of my massive head.

hmm- so the bride looked beautiful (despite an hour wait because the power went out & my husband had to run & get a generator from the Home Depot) the groom was teary eyed, the bridesmaids looked amazing & the weather was perfection.

we ate, toasted, danced, typed out messages of love on a typewriter, set off lanterns into the night sky & packed it all up within 2 hours. awesome.

the husband & i were gone from wed night - sun day. we drove 6-7 hours both ways & made it through on minimal sleep. we rock. high fives.

and can i say i missed the girls like whoa? like...it almost hurt. and they were beyond thrilled when we got home. brynn started screeching this weird happy noise & WALKED over to us.
yeah- did you get that?

my 8 month old child WALKS! wtf?! it's mind boggling. i'll leave it at that.

we had monday to regroup (thank you Labor Day) & back to the daily grind on tuesday. now it's wed & i'm at work. and it's raining. and i'm starving. and someone cooked something in the kitchen that smells like dead butt. seriously. it's awful. what in the world could it even be??

moving on. i have a few thing going on/coming up.

- review/shout out to Nerdy Shirts for hooking me up with a pretty sweet t
- review/ shout out to Toke shoes for hooking the girls up with THE cutest shoes ever
- tons of pictures (actually, not tons- just many)
- launching my photography site (right? i'm nervous too)
- photoshoots galore
- alex's b-day in 3 weeks
- more stuff & things

so be on the lookout for a flurry of internet in yo face. bam.

and since you're probably trying to make sense of everything i just said, i'll end this. and leave you with a few pics via Instagram:

Irene left us a present in our backyard

to & from

i also made way too many brownies this past weekend

3/4ths of the way done...in 85+ degree weather. booom.

oh wait- and i think i promise you a few adorble pictures of the girls at the beach 2 weeks ago- no?

happy beachin'

as always- the entire set is on my Flickr page

i'll be back tomorrow- i promise!

i forgot

2011-08-30T16:25:00.003-04:00

i should have mentioned that this week is packed- and i'm out of town for the 2nd half of it (friend's wedding, bridesmaid, baking 150 cupcakes- yadda yadda yadda)

so..no internets? righto.

that, coupled with a lack of electricity for 24 hours thanks to Irene = i'm behind.

i'll catch up next week- pretty promise.

have a good one folks.

it's as easy as a "Like"

2011-08-26T20:14:00.006-04:00

one of my readers contacted me in regards to her amazing children.

twin boys- Grant, who is living with Mitochondrial Disease & his brother Cade.

and a 14 year old daughter, Delaney, who is doing her best to raise awareness about her brother's disease.

her goal, 10,000 "Likes" on her Wish GRANTed page within 1 week & she's well on her way with almost 6,000 in 6 days.

so why don't we help her out? all you have to do is click on the Wish GRANTed page & "Like" it- simple as that.

and if you feel so led- spread the word. tweet it. blog it. Facebook status it. bam. how awesome is the internet?

bam- let's do this thing.

awesome job Delaney- and tons of virtual love & prayers for Grant.

a day at the beach (Part 1)

2011-08-23T12:12:00.004-04:00

would you believe that we took the girls to the beach for the first time in their short lives?

we live not even an hour from the beach if i might add. unacceptable? perhaps. but after this weekend i am on a mission to frequent the beach quite often in the upcoming summers. we will pack up & haul our ocean loving selves up to our sister state of Maine & enjoy the coast.

(we do have beaches in NH. but the ones in ME are better. tis' a fact.)

i also have every intention on decking us out in awesome beach gear. people had the neatest little pop up umbrella/tent shade things.

not to mention some pretty sweet shovels & buckets...and rakes.

i was jealous as i surveyed our layed out comforter, random lawn chairs & lack of any beach toys. damn. we were obviously beach newbs.

anyway- i have a ton of pictures- so i'll split them up. for today, lets focus on myself & my mom suit. oh yeah, and brynn.

family

the sunshine & salt air made her deliriously happy.

gone are the days of strappy 2 pieces- instead i must embrace full coverage. this is what a "mom suit" looks like. it covers everything that could be considered "offensive" & is somewhat flattering.

...because it's black.

but sitting down always looks good.
and megan told me to look "forlorn" - hilarious.

meanwhile- my bff#2 (meg) flaunts the fact that her body is untouched by the effects of childbirth. one day...

to be continued...

stretched thin

2011-08-18T09:37:00.003-04:00

i often get the comment, "Oh my goodness! How do you do it all?! You're like...supermom!"

this is usually after i've presented the hostess with a plate of cookies or a loaf of bread.

i reply with a ~~brilliant~~ tired smile & declare, "I don't even know!"
and it's true. i have no idea how i get things done.

people, i. am. tired. so very tired 75% of the time.

i work full time. i have kids. i have a husband. i have friends & family. i have things to cook & cakes to bake. i have promises to keep. i have to clean the house. i have to do laundry & clean up after animals. and somewhere in there i have to sleep- but only a little.

and recently i've added on taking pictures of people. other people. other people who may or may not be aware of all of the things i have going on, but it doesn't matter because if i want to legitimize myself as a photographer then i need to get pictures edited. like now- not 2 weeks from now.

sometimes i collapse on the couch & exclaim to the husband- "oh my God. i'm so TIRED!"

and then i pop up because the timer on the stove goes off & i need to check cupcakes.
then i sit back down. then i get back up because brynn is crying. then i intend to go sit back down but i hear the dryer bell go off & i know that if i don't fold those clothes right now then i'm never going to.

so i fold the clothing. by then the cupcakes are cool & they have to be frosted. but look at the clock- it's 8:30. son of a...whatever.
i frost them. it's 9. wait- the load in the washer is done- into the dryer.
crap- i need to defrost breastmilk & fill brynn's bottles. oh yes- and alex's "juice" & milk cups.
i should also cook that hamburger for tomorrow's dinner.
it's 9:30. hmm- i really need to edit a few more pictures for a client.
ok- i'll edit like 2 or 3 & call it a night.

i look up with glazed over Photoshop eyes- 10:30. crap again. the dryer is done- but that's ok. i'll pull the clothes out & thank GOD KB will fold them tomorrow...i have time to edit 1 more picture.

11:15. i have to be up in 6 hours. i should go to bed. the husband is already in bed.
i turn off lights & notice that the milk is now de-thawed. i REALLY need to get those bottles filled & into the fridge. and look at that- dishes on the counter. i should wash them now so i don't have to do them in the morning...

11:45. bottles filled. cups filled. dishes washed. lunches ready for tomorrow. living room picked up. clothes sitting in the laundry basket. computer on Sleep. doors locked. my clothes set out. teeth brushed. face washed. sleeping children checked on. bed? yes.

12:30. i fall asleep thinking about all the crap i have to do tomorrow. and the next day. and lets not even think about this weekend.

damnit.
the husband always tells me i need to "sit down & relax."
this actually annoys me because it's usually when i'm doing something that doesn't have the option to not get finished.

laundry. lunches. dinner. bathing the girls. etc etc.
i get snippy & say, "well if i don't do it who will? you?"

he usually rolls his eyes & tells me that i like "being busy." this is partially true. i can't sit still for too long. but it's not because i dislike relaxing- it's because stuff HAS to get done.
i know some people say, "welp- there's always tomorrow!" and this is very true, but tomorrow also brings more things that need to be done. & coupled with yesterday's stuff that i never got to- well, geeze.

at times he has a point. like on a sunday evening i'll actually have nothing else left to do & it's only 7. wow. so what do i do? i put in a batch of cookies.
wtf?! why wouldn't i just sit down on the couch instead?

well, i'm not sure. except maybe that i bake those cookies because that's for ME! i love to bake. it relaxes me. cracking eggs & creaming butter. sifting flour & pouring in vanilla. ahhh. nice.

but 2 cookie sheets later i'm over it. i just want to be done already- but i'm commited. cookie dough isn't going to go to waste on my watch.

despite all of the above- i feel like i do a ok job balancing.

if i'm folding clothes & brynn crawls up my leg & reaches to be held, i put down the socks & scoop her up. she's more important.
and if i'm on the computer & alex is watching a movie (after brynn has gone to bed) & i hear her say "mamma. sit! sit wif me!"- i immediately get up & go sit with her. wether it be for 5 minutes or an hour- doesn't matter. she comes first.

the only thing i really sacrifice is time for myself.
and sleep.
4-5 hours per night = typical.
i'm not one who needs her 8 hours. i function fine on less. i also don't need a coffee or a shower to wake me up.
once i step out of bed- i'm awake.
and my body has an internal alarm clock- so even on the rare weekend day where brynn sleeps in- i'm still up at 6.
my eyes open despite my weary body's protests & i simply cannot re-close them. it's time to get this day started.

lately i've been stressing slightly. i have a lot to do within the next few weeks.
wedding cupcakes to make. a 2 year old's birthday party to plan. photo shoots. a full weekend without the husband (as he'll be off doing his own thing)- then the entire next week off as i prepare to go to NY for a dear friend's wedding & fret about leaving the girls for 3 days.
then back home. more photoshoots. more editing. work. blah blah blah.

but i can do it. right? and on only 3 hours sleep. i'll survive.

and as busy as i am i have to admit that i love almost everything i have to do.
i love taking pictures (though i dislike editing. i so need to hire someone to do that for me.)
i love cooking & baking.
i love seeing people's eyes light up when i deliver a cake.
i love hearing people tell me how good something tastes.
i love the finished product of a party planned for weeks.

those things make me happy. and i can get them all done- because i guess i sort of am a supermom. like every other mom. and dad.

but a week's vacation in the tropics sounds pretty good too. i'd be down with that.

so- are you busy? wicked busy? how do you do it? do you feel like you're doing too much? how to you unwind & how do you balance it all? what do you do for yourself?

happy monday

2011-08-15T09:36:00.002-04:00

first off- i have a visual for you in regards to how my Monday is currently going:

yeah. a $103 ticket for "following to close"

wait, shouldn't that be "folowing too close" Mr. Officer?

either way. i am annoyed. i don't get stopped & i don't get tickets. ever. well actually, i have gotten 1 ticket like 6 years ago (which i tried to fight & lost) & i do sometimes get pulled over (but not within the past 4 years)- but i never get ticketed. ever ever ever.

plus, i totes wasn't following too close. lies. i'd love to "fight" this- but we all know how that'll go.

i'll take time off of work. waste gas driving to the courthouse. curse as i look for parking. pay out the ass for said parking. wait around for 2 hours. the damn cop'll show up & the judge will look at me like i'm the worst driver ever & declare me "Guilty as charged!"

bang gavel. done.

i'll have to pay anyway & my meter will probably run out & i'll get a parking ticket.

and for what? because Mr. Office needed to meet his quota for the month of August?
stupid.

but moving on. photoshoot. this weekend. it went awesome (for the most part)
the engagement session rocked- but the kid session before hand was like pulling teeth.

smile? no. um...why are you crying? wait- stop. don't touch that. SMILE! are you ok? crap.

but nevermind that- allow me to show you some of the ones from the love shoot.
these have all been re-sized & sharpened for the web.

feel free to CC- i won't be offended.

i tossed up a FB page with the rest: FB Page
and you're totally allowed to "Like" it- as in, please validate me?

8 months old

2011-08-12T08:26:00.003-04:00

yes, i am aware that i haven't updated since monday.
this week has been the epitome of busy.
sick babies. ear infections. teething. work. errands. no sleep.
all of those things that make you realize that you're an adult. and a parent.

but the highlight- an 8 month old (on tuesday) that finally got her 1st tooth!

see how happy she is about it?

i got home yesterday & KB told me that brynn had been a bit fussy. hmmm- ok. i noticed the incredible amounts of drool & snot & decided to stick my finger in her mouth for exploration.

that's when i felt a tiny little nub. a tiny & sharp little nub.
that's also when she bit down. hard. like a crocodile that won't let go.

i'd forgotten how dangerous teething children, and puppies, can be.

so yes. amidst everything else, my children continue to age & grow.

have a great weekend.
and keep my sanity in your thoughts- i have 3 photoshoots (i'm skill building) this weekend & i may or may not be slightly nervous. maybe. possibly. kinda. yes.

yes i am.

weekend picture review

2011-08-08T08:52:00.002-04:00

i am well aware that BlogHer 11' has ended & 99% of the lady bloggers are back in the saddle; ready to delight you with tales of meeting one another, Sparklecorn, swag & all around good times.

so i'll keep this short & sweet.

we were invited to a birthday party this weekend. my eldest child, as anti-social as her father, screamed for half of it & spent the other half holding onto a mylar pig balloon that was attached to a bale of hay.

proof:

see the 90° angle of that ribbon? yeah, as i said- attached to a bale of hay. hooray.

eventually she stepped away & made dying sheep noises whilst sticking her head through a few cutouts:

and then we let brynn in on the fun:

i attempted to coax alex over to watch her friend unwrap presents- but she was having none of it. brandon took her back to her bff (the mylar pig) and i let brynn explore the wonders of a plastic lawn chair:

eventually it was cake time- and even alex can't ignore the lure of cake. she let go of the balloon string in exchange for sugar:

the only problem? she wanted to keep this sugar pig. forever & ever. terrible. it was melting everywhere & there was no way she was getting into my car with that thing in tow.

i'd love to describe the meltdown that occured once i took it away from her- but i've blocked it from my memory.

brynn was in good spirits though:

chillin' with daddy

pretty girl.

and the coolest party guest ended up being this praying mantis- who was hitching a ride on one of the kid's heads:

and of course i didn't have my macro lens- so i had to get all up in his personal space with my 35mm. my apologies good sir.

after 3 hours we packed up & headed home. alex screamed for 10 minutes- then passed out for another 10- then woke up & refused to nap.

glorious i tell you- glorious.

inside the mind of a child. and an adult.

2011-08-04T07:31:00.007-04:00

the husband has often remarked that he wouldn't want to be my brain.
this is because i am incredibly random & somewhat spastic.

(i'm also painfully smart. so smart, in fact, that it hurts - which is probably why he wouldn't want to be my brain. because he would literally be in agony 24/7 - you know what i mean?)

right. but there is a brain that is even more terrifying than my own. in fact, there are several millions of these brains. no, i'm not talking about serial killers or Paris Hilton- i'm talking about my toddler.

your toddler. our toddlers. every toddler in the whole wide world.

no matter how hard i try i cannot grasp how their minds work. how they go from one extreme to another in the blink of an eye. how they love something with all their hearts on Monday at 11am- only to loath it at 3pm. on the same day. not even 5 hours later. whaaaa?

a perfect example of the randomness of toddlers is alex in the car. most trips go something like this.

both girls get buckled in. brynn happily sucking on her fist & alex watching a DVD with a cup of "juice" (she thinks it's juice- it's really flavored water. sucker.)

i drive. about 5 minutes in brynn starts laughing about something. alex decides that brynn isn't allowed to express joy of any kind & promptly screams.
i stare her down in the review mirror & tell her to knock it off. brynn (who adores alex regardless) coos for another 5 minutes or so & then falls asleep.

i drive on. alex finishes her juice & tosses the cup onto the floor. nice kid. thanks for that.
i count down in my head- "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

"more?"
"honey i'm driving. i'll get you more when we get home. i promise."

...

"more? more juice?" this time she frantically starts signing more as well- as if expressing her desire for more with her mouth & hands is going to move things along

"honey- i'm dri. ving. when we get home."

ok. she's quiet for a minute. she totes understands that mommy is behind the wheel of a 3 ton SUV & doesn't have Go Go Gadget arms. she's going to wait, like the patient little angel she is, for us to arrive home in 25 minutes....

"some? some snack?"
" alex honey...well ok. let me see what i can find."

i manage to snake my arm behind the seat & fish around in the front pocket of the baby bag. i find fruit snacks. success!

"here hon, fruit snacks? you want these?" i hold the bag up so she can see it.
"some! some!" maniacal laughter

i open the bag & pass it back to her. she happily accepts & all is right with the world.
...

"all done. done...."

i ignore her in the hopes that she realizes she is not, in fact, done.

"...posicle?" craaap.
"honey- mommy is driving. we don't have any popsicles. when we get home. i promise."
"DONE SNACK. POSICLE!"
"ALEX- WHEN WE GET HOME! I PROMISE!" at this point i'd promise her a beer if she asked for it. anything to avoid what's coming next.

"AAAIIIIIEEEE!!!!"
"ALEX! ENOUGH!"

::insert thermonuclear meltdown here::

she looks at the bag of half eaten fruit snacks and reacts violently, throwing them away from herself with movie perfection abruptness. almost as if she's just realized that i'm attempting to poison her. then her mouth forms an O. a big, fat O.

like this: O

silent for a second & then loud. so freaking loud. like a locomotive blasting through your head.

"POSICLE! FISH! DADDY! ELMO! GHTYTBEISSKA! JUICE! MILK! GRAPES! BLANKET! NEMO! AHGURJTIJFN!!!!"

there is really no sense in trying to reason with her. as you can see- there are so many things going on inside of her little brain right now that i don't think anything, short of Jesus or Elmo (in real life), would get through to her.

she wails for a minute or so & then goes silent.

i hold my breath & contemplate breaking the 1st & 2nd commandements by praying to the toddler gods & possibly constructing some sort of offering stone on which to sacrafice a goat if they can make her be quiet for the next 15 minutes.

then i remember that the past 9 week's sunday sermons have been about the 10 commandments & the pastor was pretty clear on the fact that God isn't down with us breaking them.

so i re-think the above & just pray to God. that's cool. i didn't want to kill a goat anyway.

i hear Larry the cucumber singing a silly song & then she laughs.

everything is ok now.

"cheese?"
"oh alex, i don't...wait. YES! i DO have cheese!" maniacal laughter (see how the tables have turned?)

i pull a slightly warm cheesestick out of her lunch bag & hand it to her.

"cheese! i LUB IT! MMM!"

awww. she loves cheese.

"momma! car! dog, woof woof! tales tales tales!" she starts singing along with veggie tales.

omg. my kid is a savant. i make a mental note to call the New England Conservatory.

i look in the mirror & see, with relief, that brynn has slept through this entire ordeal. score.
in 10 minutes we'll be home & i can ~~escape from this prison~~ exit the vehicle, lovingly unbuckle my child from her seat & feed her a dinner of "posicles", fish & grapes.

very well balanced.

i drive. i bob my head along to Nicki Minaj & think about how maybe i'd like a vanity plate. hmmm- what would it say? oh crap, we're out of paper towels. we also need toothpaste. OMG! i have a coupon for said toothpaste- yessss. i really wish i'd stuck with ballet, imagine how lithe & graceful i'd be...i wish i knew how to play the piano or the violin. how cool would that be? you know, i could TOTALLY be a background dancer for Britney Spears....PINTEREST! i wish i could sew- i'd make the most perfect little girl's clothes everrrr. i love singing- i have a really good voice i think. i want a new lens. like a $1600 lens. how can i convince the husband..? hawaii?!!! san francisco? NEW YORK! i can't wait for fall- but winter suuucks...

.....

"ice cream?"

DAMNIT!

picture post

2011-08-02T11:18:00.003-04:00

not a whole lot going on right now.
errands, appts, work & etc etc.

i did finally put up (on FB) that i need to skill build & take pictures of people (other than my kids) so i'm going to be lining up some photo shoots for the next few weeks/months.

i'm actually pretty excited. a little nervous- but i'm really ready to buckle down & figure out what i'm doing.

but for now- you get my family, a snake & bugs.

sssnake.

dragonfly.

and now i'm going to figure out how to make extra money appear in my bank account so that i can purchase a few new lenses & props.
wish me luck.

pictures

2011-07-29T13:43:00.004-04:00

first off- many thanks for the responses to my last post.
i like when things are warm & fuzzy.

like baby bunnies & newborn chicks.

but not mold.

this one time, in college, i didn't wash my towel for like 3 months (i'm not kidding. i was poor. and in college) and my roomate (in fact, the same one who's bridal shower was celebrated last weekend) pick it up, took a whif & stated,

"oh my GOD Beaner- this thing smells like hot mold!"

so when i think of warm & fuzzy- it makes me happy. but then i think about hot mold, on my body- and i get all twitchy.

anyways.

and as promised- here are some snapshots of last weekend:

this is what 6am looks like after 3 hours of sleep:

flattering- no?

our friend's have a super cute dog. olivia. she amazingly timid considering her size:

the husband = the Ace Venture of kids & pets

now that gary is no more (sob) this is my favorite cat- murray

poor olivia- she wanted us gone.

but she loves her mum.

and the chillin's:

"what dis?"

and a bit of instagram:

you know- looking at these pictures & thinking about how tired i was is actually making me tired. right now.

a great weekend- have one.

good mom. bad mom.

2011-07-27T08:45:00.003-04:00

i frequent a message board (thebump) and came across a post this morning that made me think.

basically, one mother was defending her questionable parenting choices & several other mothers were attempting to educate her on why said methods might not be the best idea.

in this specific case i wouldn't say the original poster was being "judged" for her choices. as i stated, her methods are very questionable & frankly, borderline abusive.

i won't mince words- she's doing it wrong.

and a few ladies let her know this, very nicely i might add, and suggested ways to perhaps make her life a little easier.
they didn't jump down her throat & tell her she was a bad mom- instead they sympathized with her situation & let her know they know what she's going through.

now- i'm usually a "live & let live" type of person. stay out of my business & i'll stay out of yours. you do your thing & i'll do mine. agree to disagree. etc etc.

but i've found myself stepping out of my comfort zone every now & again.

i recall a time when i was working at McDonald's (be jealous of my employment under the golden arches) and a mother (who was around my age) came in with her child & ordered lunch. a happy meal of some sort.

i think the kid was probably around 2. he was zooming around the room and the mother looked...frazzled. meh. whatever. i was 20 & couldn't care less.
i think i probably mentally judged her for allowing herself to get knocked up so young.

about 5 minutes into their meal i could hear her shouting from the dining room. i peeked around the corner & witnessed what can only be described as a total breakdown.

she wanted him to eat. he didn't want to eat. he wants to play. he's 2. she's tired. she's upset. she has no idea what she's doing (?).

"eat please."
"no."
"EAT!"
"NO! TOY! DOWN!" (he throws throws half the content of his tray onto the floor)
"NO TOY! EAT YOUR DAMN FOOD RIGHT NOW!"

she procedes to snatch the toy out of his hand, smack him on the hand & stuff a few fries in his mouth.
of course now he starts crying.

she tells him to be quiet.
then he starts choking.
now scared herself, she tells him to stop crying & he'll stop choking.
then she starts crying.

wtf.

i look around the dining room- people are staring but doing nothing. i do see a mother with a couple older kids at another table start to get up- but my feet had already propelled themselves into action.

i'm 20. i have no kids. no clue how hard it is & honestly, i'm more concerned with paying my rent & finishing up a paper that's due in 24 hours.
but i did know that something was wrong.
this woman was losing her effing mind & no one was going to do a damn thing.

i ran over just in time to pound the kid on the back & watch him vomit up the contents of his stomach. all over himself, the table & the floor.

i watched as his gagging turned to sobs & then sniffles as his mother sat there, literally, frozen.
not moving. not talking. just watching me.

i asked him if he was ok? yes. did he want a new toy? yes. some juice? yes.

by now another mother (who was there with her own children) had come over to assist me.
we wiped him up & stripped him down to a diaper. a diaper that needed to be changed.
the woman took the boy into the bathroom to change him.

let me remind you that his own mother is still sitting there saying nothing. she's just crying.

once the other mother took the kid into the bathroom i sat down in his seat across from her.

so there i sat, in all of my 20 year old glory, mouth open- ready to ask her wtf her problem was when she looked up at me & said, in the most pitiful voice i've ever heard,
"i am so sorry. you must think i'm the worst mother in the world, don't you?"

and i just stopped.

oh my God. what do you say to that?

i looked at her & actually saw her (this may or may not have had something to do with the Psychology class i was currently taking)

young. tired. scared. broken. horrified with herself. the same age as me.

who the eff am i to judge her? i know nothing about her (except that fact that she likes extra onions on her burger which is despicable). i have no idea what it's like to be in her shoes.

"No. i don't. you're just....no one is perfect."

tears. sniffles.

"Oh my God. is he ok? oh my God. i'm so sorry Dylan! oh my God..."
"He's fine. just...he's all pukey. kinda gross. i gave him a new toy & he's getting changed."

by now the dining room has cleared out. but out of the corner of my eye i see the cops pull up.
she sees it too.
she literally crumples up. in on herself. making herself as small as she can. she starts crying again.

i tell her it's ok. i'll explain.
the other mother comes out. the girl's son & her own 3 kids in tow.

he sees his mom & comes running over. she scoops him up & he hugs her. she tells him she's so sorry. she loves him.

he tells her he has a new toy. and that he "frowed up!"

she thanks the other mother who smiles & tells her it's ok. she knows how it is (gesturing to her own 3 kids)

the cops come in. more tears. time to explain.
the other mother stays put & rubs the girl's back.

the kids run around the dining room.
i hear things like, "CPS. need help...programs. have you done this before? it's ok. i have 2 boys...."

in the end the cops give her a stern lecture about disturbing the peace & the need to control herself. they take her info & tell her there will be a follow up with a Social Worker.

she looks relieved by this.
the other mother stays the whole time.

i clean up the floor (freaking nasty) and keep an eye on the kids.

the girl thanks me. tells me i have no idea how much she appreciates everything.
the other mother gathers up her own kids & walks out with the girl & her son.
i watch them exchange info & get kids loaded into cars.
they drive away.

good bye. good grief. wtf just happened here?

i'm not going to say this was some big turning point for me. i quickly put the whole mess out of my mind & went on turn 21 & then 22 & then 23 & then get married & etc etc.

i still did my share of eye rolling & stating "that will NEVER when i have kids....!!!"
you know the deal.

and then i had alex. and then she turned 1. and then she had her very first tantrum.

and as the husband & i stood there, with mouths agape, watching our child kick & scream & spit (yes, spit)- the above memory exploded upwards and out from the deep recesses of my brain.

oh my God.

and then as she had more tantrums. and more. and more. and then i had brynn. and then i juggled 2 babies. and then alex started hitting & kicking & saying "NO!" & throwing food & wanting popsicles for breakfast, lunch & dinner...i got it.

this is so hard. and i have no idea what i'm doing. and i might lose my mind.

i want to point out that if the above McD's scenario had happened in the privacy of her own home, no one would have been the wiser. but because her breakdown happened in public- she never stood a chance.

we have ALL done things in the privacy of our own homes that we wouldn't dream of admitting to people. things that we might think of later on & feel pretty damn guilty about.

and so far as a mother i have said & done things i'm not proud of. i've had many a moment of weakness when alex is screaming for no apparent reason & brynn wants to be held.
when i haven't slept in days & there is laundry to be folded, groceries to be purchased & the dogs have peed on the floor AGAIN!!!

i've yelled back. i've screamed. i've cried.

i've thrown a toy across the room. i've slammed a door. i've seen red. i've lost it.

i've watched alex hit her sister even after i've said no. i've watched her get up from the chair i've sat her in, walk over, and smack her again. i silently remind myself that smacking her back isn't going to get my point across. is it?

she just hit brynn. i said no. how can i now hit her? how would that even...?!

and at my wits end, after watching her kick brynn in the face (for the 3rd time) i've found myself tapping her on the hand & shouting "OH MY GOD ALEX! KNOCK IT OFF!"

and in those moments i'm pretty sure that if anyone saw me they'd be horrified. perhaps even thinking that i'm a bad mom.
how could i yell at my kid? how could i throw my own tantrum? how could i just say,
"FINE! do whatever you want!!! here's a marshmallow! just give me 5 minutes PLEASE!!!"

i'm being honest here. and all i can say is try to be honest with yourself. if you see something that makes you want to judge, take a step back & put yourself in their shoes (if you even can).

if you're a parent- you. have. been. there.

instead of putting on your self righteous suit, try to help. try to be understanding. try to remember what it felt like when you were losing control.

wether it be online or in real life.

i'm not in any way condoning violence or abuse. both are wrong & should never happen. if it is happening, it should be reported.

i'm talking about the times where we all lose our cool & need a gentle reminder that we're human & it's ok to make mistakes. but that we need to learn from those mistakes & work on ways to make sure they don't happen again.

we need to stop pointing fingers and labeling others as a "bad mom" because that simply isn't our place.
on the same token, we need to admit to our faults & not take offense when given a suggestion on how to avoid certain situations.
plugging our ears to good advice & staying stuck in a rut won't do us any favours. amen?

so now when i see a mother at Target, with her kid screaming at the top of his lungs because he can't have his way, and i watch her either give in or ignore his wails- i don't roll my eyes or tsk tsk anymore- because oh my God, i was just there 5 minutes ago.
and now my kid, although tear streaked, is happily playing with a toy i told her she couldn't have.

go figure.

i feel your pain. i really do.

p.s. you're a good mom. remember that.

bridal shower weekend (in NY) recap

2011-07-25T10:03:00.008-04:00

apparently, 2 screaming children at 6:30 in the A.M in the midst of a heat wave = an effective form of birth control.

obviously not for us, but i was glad to be able to perform this service for dear friends who are embarking on forever together.

"we want babies!"

::enter my children::

"holy shit. i don't think i can do this. never. ever. wtf?!"

you're welcome.

i mean honestly- the girls did pretty good. but a 6 hour car ride, being away from home in a strange house, with temps in the 100's & mommy not at the ready...that's a recipe for true colors to come out.

the husband really stepped it up & did what i needed him to do. wrangle the girls for 2 days while i slaved away in the kitchen.
they may have ingested handfulls of dog hair & come away with more than a couple decorative bruises (thanks to dive bombing off the bed) but all in all it could have been a lot worse.

we arrived in NY around 3am on friday (after driving all night while bebes slept to ensure a little sanity) and i was promptly awoken @ 6 am by brynn head butting me in the face.
good morning.
i got up & got to work. mixing, beating, cracking eggs, sifting flour, measuring butter, pouring batter, whipping egg whites- etc etc etc

by 12 noon i'd churned out 30+ cupcakes & 4 layers of cake. chocolate & white. in the hottest kitchen ever.

thankfully the rest of the kitchen duties were completed at another house that blissfully chilled with central air.
thank you God.

french macarons, marshmallow frosting, cupcakes in jars, s'mores on a stick. basically- enough sugar to make a dentist cringe.

the rest of the ladies also got to work making Sangria & mojitos & decorations & sliders & putting up tables/chairs, tissue paper pom poms- and more.

we wrapped up the day by going out (girls only) for sushi & gelato.
i usually stay away from sushi- but i decided to be brave (somewhat- i didn't touch anything with raw fish) & go for it.

wow. i want to be rich & eat sushi on a daily basis. thank you very much.

i also had my way with some scallion pancakes & a plate of Pad Thai. heaven.

back to the house (thankfully the room we stayed in was kindly fitted with an AC unit. omg. it was like out own personal arctic vacation) where i fell into bed & snagged 5 hours of shut eye.

back up @ 6:30. banana waffles made. fruit & coffee consumed.

stepped out into stifling heat & immediately became drenched in sweat. quick stop at Wegman's (omg NY people. i am ever so jealous of your Wegman's. i need one. it made me ridiculously happy)

back to the central air house ::queu angels singing::

3 hours & way too many egg whites & pounds of butter later- bridal shower cake = completed.

everyone came together & wrapped up loose ends. food prepped & decorations done. flowers sorted & drinks full of ice.

we (myself & tiffany- the bride to be's sister) rushed back to the house to change & grab the guest of honor.

back to the party (i must mention that it was outside. and it was hot. but it was still awesome)

everything was in order. she cried. we laughed. she hugged. we said "hooray!". everyone ate, played shower games & "oooh'd & aaah'd" over gifts.

squeals of joy were heard when i brought out the cake.
manda's reaction made it all worthwhile.
she loved it.

dessert consumed. favors passed out. people saying their goodbyes. cleaning up. bridesmaids jumping in the pool. drinks being consumed.

it was wonderful.

i had to skip out early & head back to the house. the husband & i quickly packed the car & bundled the girls into their seats. with the AC blasting & alex happily zoning out with a movie, we headed back to our home state.

somehow the husband managed to let the GPS get the upper hand & we found ourselves in Vermont. at 12 am. bendy roads & numerous deer are not a recipe for an awesome trip back home.

there were some choice words (uttered by the husband- not me) and some passing of slow Vermonters on yellow double lines (don't judge. we had no choice. pass or die) but we made it home in 1 piece.

we got the girls settled in bed & unpacked the car.
i threw in a load of laundry, put away food, packed up extras & washed dishes.
and we were in bed by 3:30. not too shabby.

..however, i was once again awoken at 6:30 in the AM thanks to my head butting child.

thankfully the day was cooler (plus we have AC) and a trip to the in-laws, to pick up the dogs, resulted in lunch.
we spent some time hanging out & then baths were given & bedtimes came early.
i then sat my behind down for several hours of picture editing ::yawn::

11:30 = bed. finally. the end.

and now i'll overload you with pictures. because i know that's why you keep coming back to my corner of the internet. enjoy.

the cake & cake bunting (both made by yours truly)

the other desserts (also made by yours truly)

drink table

food

pretty tables & decoration

a crucial piece of technology

s'mores cupcakes in a jar (also made by yours truly w/layering assistance from the girls)

(i painted the lids with chalkboard paint)

the bride to be

crying after she saw the adirondak chair set we(the bridesmaids) got for her

we used a wood burning tool to sign our names!

the ladies

randoms

and etc et. the rest of the set is here: Flickr Set

i did snag pictures of the girls & the husband but i'll share those later. i fear that any more pictures might = loading issues.

happy monday!

oh this weekend

2011-07-21T08:16:00.005-04:00

one of my dearest friends is getting married in sept.

so what comes before a wedding? a bridal shower. this weekend. in NY. 7 hours from where we reside.

ah! i'm stoked to go- but let me mention that i'm dragging the family along & i'm baking her cake, cupcakes & various other dessert.

i am COUNTING on the husband to handle the girls for me. straight up take them off my hands for 2 days. i'm going to be covered in sugar, flour & butter. they cannot be near me. as much as i love them.

i'm packing like a mad woman & checking off my list to make sure i have everything.

diapers
wipes
sugar
piping bags
kithen scale
eggs
extra clothing
toothpaste
etc etc etc.

see how random?
we'll be driving through the night (to allow for sleeping bebes) and arriving bright & early. like 2am early.

after i get eveyone back to sleep & i'll be headed into the kitchen to start heating up the house.
in the middle of a heat wave.
i suck.
but people like cake.
so that's it then.

i'm off. i have to work. leave early from said work. go to an appt. go home. pack. double check my list. load people in the car. beg the husband to stop at McDonald's. sleep. drool. tell the husband to slow down.

i'm tired already. but super stoked.
have a fabulous weekend!

p.s. and because posts are boring without photos- here's a few macros from last weekend:

ok- NOW have a great weekend!

hair cut

2011-07-18T09:27:00.003-04:00

i finally got a hair cut this weekend.

it's been over a year (actually- closer to 2 years) since my last trim and i had the split ends to prove it. also, the last time i got a legit "style" cut was when i was 14
(and we won't even discuss that one. seriously- i should show you pictures. in fact, i will. i'll dig them up & let you gasp in horror. in my defense- it totes wasn't my idea. i was going on a mission trip for the summer so my mom though it'd be a good idea to all but shave my head. yeah. that bad. but i digress.)

any.way. so the idea was to go to the local hair school & get my hair cut, styled, straightened & etc etc on the cheap. real cheap. like $10 cheap.
i called in advance & was told to come on in, no appt needed, plenty of student, etc etc. hooray.

i arrived at 9 o'clock sharp (pictures in hand) & was promptly asked if i had an appt.

"um...yeee-no."

hmmm- well only 2 students had shown up that morning & without an appt (which i was told i didn't need) there were no openings. but i could come back at 11 & see if anything was available.

eff that. the girls were home with the husband & i was prepped & ready.
i left. and i sort of wanted to cry. i had planned for this for 3 weeks. why does the universe plot against me?

pouting, i stopped at the ATM on the way home & noticed a Super Cuts. ugh. yes? no? eff it- i went in.
i told the girl what she was working with (mad curly hair) and what i wanted (bangs, layers, all around awesome)

she quickly got to work & chatted about God knows what the entire time. i admit, i wasn't listening. so i felt really bad when she stopped (after having obviously asked me a question) and realized that i had no idea what she wanted to know.

"um...Frodo?" wtf? damnit woman.

my kid's name is Frodo now.

anyway, i had a moment of panic when she brought the shears forward to create my "bangs"

really? that short? are you positive?

::snip::

good God. but it's curly- this is ok. it needs to be straight to see results. right? omg. am i a poodle now? like seriously- did i just turn into a dog?

i'm to tired to care.

10 minutes later i was out of the chair & dishing out $20 (including tip) with my frizzy hair in a pony & my "bangs" pinned back. now i had to go home & spend 40 minutes with my straightener.

::sigh::

not the epic haircut i had envisioned. but whatever.

after bitching to the husband about my hair trials & tribulations- i straightened it & applied more than a normal amount of hair serum (in an attempt to ward off the effects of humidity)

all done. i surveyed the damage in the mirror, deemed it "not bad" and decided that next time i'll pony up the cash & go to a legit salon. you know, where they use razors & fancy scissors & offer you sparkling mineral water in exchange for an $80 encounter with their skillz.

that is what happens, right? because i've never been to a fancy hair place. i have no idea what goes on behind those glass doors.

all in all, my hair looks a lot better & could look a lot worse. so, no complaints.

(even though my lazy eye says otherwise, i'm not drunk. or high)

(via Instagram)

right? if it wasn't for humidity & the fact that my hair hates me, i'd be 99% happy with it.

random things

2011-07-15T10:00:00.004-04:00

first off- thank you for all the kind words & thoughts in regards to mr. gary cat.
he was awesome. we're going to miss him.

however, let's focus on happier things. yes.

like, swinging. for 2 hours. straight. until you're unable to stand because your equilibrium is off.

thank goodness the ritzy community down the street has a private park (that i have yet to see any other children playing in) because i fear other mother's would mentally stab me for letting my children monopolize the swings.

spitting. fun.

eventually she took a breather to check out the slide

but that lasted all of 5 minutes before she was back on the swings.

much to alex's dismay, we cannot take up residency at the park. so we had to drag her home at some point. but not before i got this video: (forgive the quality- my camera, as awesome as it is, takes the worst videos)

kids are incredible. i wish i got this giddy about something. anything. (besides the Twilight movies)

and for something far less cute- spiderwebs. i loathe spiders. but i can't deny the beauty of their webs. (unless i walk into said webs- which results in my body instantly going into ninja mode in an attempt to escape. have you ever noticed that?)

i was playing with lighting

and sun flare

i love sun flare- but rarely do i get any. now i just need to perfect it.

have a great weekend.

RIP Gary cat

2011-07-13T08:59:00.005-04:00

Gary (our outdoor cat) hasn't been home in 4 days.

this is unlike him. he usually comes home every evening & lounges on the back porch.
i'll spot him, he meows, i pet him & he wanders inside to eat & clean himself on our bed.

he also usually deposits many a dead creature on the back steps- so that we may admire them & then toss them into the woods when he isn't looking.

well no dead creatures. no Gary cat.

i've been telling myself that he's simply lost track of time & is livin' it up with the barn cats next door. but now as i sit here, i'm getting a bit teary eyed.

we knew the dangers of allowing him to be an outdoor cat- but his total hatred of being inside & utter LOVE of being outside (meaning, the door would be shut & locked & yet i'd still find him on the other side of it. this forced me to worry that he had either mastered the art of opening a door- with kitty paws no less- or that he was a vampire cate who posesses the ability to walk through walls. i must admit, the former scared me- the latter made me giddy that vampires might actually be real.) forced us to purchase Advantix & set him free.
for several months he has happily frollicked outdoors- stalking small animals & making friends with neighboring cats.

the husband warned me that there are dangerous predators lurking in the woods & that one day Gary might simply not come home. but i scoffed at the idea- Gary is tough. Gary is fast. Gary is awesome.

well- 4 days of searching the woods, calling his name, tsk tsk tsking & snack shaking hasn't produced our tough guy.

the practical side of me is telling me he's gone. the practical side of me is also amazingly ok with it. this is nature. the circle of life. the way things are.

but the Gary cat lover side of me is so very sad & in denial.
i ADORE that cat. and he is the one animal in the house that prefers me over the husband.
the rest, allthough technically mine, all clearly favor the husband.

yes he ripped up every toilet paper roll we put up.
yes he peed all over the basement floor.
yes he scratched the crap out of our walls.
yes he stole food off the counter.
yes he would regurgitate his food all over the house.
yes he once escaped outdoors in the middle of a storm & forced the husband to save him from the muddy flooding swamp after an hour of searching.

but we still love him. mostly.

his sister (Maceo- our fatty cat) clearly misses him. she's been meowing at the slider- running outside & then back in. tripping us up. hanging around us (which she rarely does). looking out the windows. meowing some more.
the first 2 days she was somewhat frantic- but i've noticed now that she's settling down & hanging out in all the places gary never allowed her to. almost like she's taking over. like she knows- you know?

as i sit here typing this i'm 97% sure he's not coming home.
we live rather rurally- so the chances of him getting lost & winding up in someone's yard is slim to none.

but the chances of him getting snagged by a coyote or fisher cat? very high.

oh. i'm so bummed. poor Gary.

Circa 07'

oh hai

damn.

7 months old

2011-07-11T13:42:00.002-04:00

as of yesterday.

as you can see- now that she's a mature 7 months, she no longer has to listen to me.

"brynn- look at mommmy!" means nothing to her.

"oh hai!"

7 months old. stop it already!

so behind

2011-07-08T09:28:00.004-04:00

1st: thank you for all the happy day wishes yesterday. one day that 4 will have a 0 behind it. dear God. i'll be so old. elderly even.

2nd: i. am. so. behind. i've got loads & loads of pictures to show. several recipes to post (to the food blog). stories. milestones. laundry. dishes. projects. etc etc etc.

3rd: i fed the husband doctored up cous cous & cresent rolls filled with Kraft singles & bologna for dinner last night. i think he may have side eyed my culinary prowess but kindly said nothing.
i tell you this only to let you know how seriously behind i really am. and how tired.

so, so tired.

anyway- lets start with pictures. pictures are fun & everybody enjoys them? right? YES YOU DO!

Current Loves:
1. my new handpainted locket

do you see that? a perfect little log cabin & a sweet weeping cherry tree.
i request. she delivered. it's my life in a locket. i love it.

i'm not a big jewelry fan- but i adore lockets. and these round antique lockets are oh so fun.
i'm stoked that even when we one day move from our home (to hawaii of course) i can pop open my locket & reminisce.

locket: khara ledonne on etsy

2. my new sloth necklaces:

i've been over my love for sloths. i hover between utter fascination & complete obsession. if someone walked up to me on the street & offered me a sloth, i would say YES GIVE HIM TO ME NOW! no questions asked. he would be mine & i would plant a tree in my house for him & i would love him forever.

i adore them.

so the husband (aware that our anniversary was approaching) wisely snooped around on my Pinterest page & spotted a pin i'd made.
he then went through the "hassle" of registering for an Etsy account & ordering me, not 1, but 2 of these lovelies.

when i opened the last night- i squeed. gah! sloths for me! hooray!
again- i usually stay away from jewelry- but come on? these are beyond presh. i'm wearing the 1st one right now.

sloth necklace: mary mary handmade on etsy
(there is a mamma & bebe sloth one that i die for. but tis' only 1 bebe & i haz 2. booo.)

What ~~She~~ They Wore:
there are times when i squeeze my eyes shut & wish for limitless funds.
most of these times are when i am surrounded by the most perfect little girls clothes.
i want this one. and that one. and those over there. gimme gimme now. all of it!

so then i am forced to whip out my credit card & pretend that i have limitless funding available to me. HOORAY! I AM RICH! LET THE MONEY FLOW FROM MY POCKETS LIKE WATER! i will adorn my daughters in the finest linens!

...and then i kick myself when i view my online statement on the 30th. damnit.
but it's ok- because they look oh so cute.

farm frock: Isabel Garreton (via Gilt)
shoes: Toke

when i spotted this top at the consignment store i knew i had to have it. it is one of the most perfect little things ever. if i could make her wear it everyday i would.
i think the bloomers are a perfect summer pairing & she had on these adorable pink wedges:

but we traded them out for the Crocs because she loves them so.
and speaking of the Crocs- $30 for rubber shoes = insanity. but i snagged these ones for $12.99 at Marshall's. score.

swing top: thrifted (Hawaii made)
bloomers: babyGap
shoes: Crocs (via Marshall's)
wedges: 7 For All Mankind

polka dot onesie: Target
doxie top: Gymboree
love onesie: Ralph Lauren
skirt: gift
hello there onesie: babyGap

alex:
top: Target
pants: Target

brynn:
romper: Tea Collection
bib: Apple Tree Boutique

A Smattering of Photos:
4th of July

(can't decide which edit i prefer...you?)

recap:
- the girls
- daddy
- mommy
- in laws
- cousin Jameson
- the dogs (max, cessna & axel)
- coconut tres leches cake

more? perhaps.
too much? perhaps.

do you want coconut cake now? perhaps.

have a fabulous weekend friends.

4 years ago

2011-07-07T08:07:00.004-04:00

on a sweltering July afternoon when the pastor asked me if i would, i was all like "sure! why not?"

4 years & 2 kids later, i still find socks next to the hamper & dishes next to the dishwasher.
i'm clueless about the irrational anger towards video games & the inability to clean his hair out of the bathroom sink still baffles me.

but it's all good. i still love him.

flashback friday

2011-07-01T10:31:00.002-04:00

miss alexis praise

09.24.09

miss brynn everly

12.10.10

"are you two sisters?" - this should never be a question.

have an awesome 4th of July weekend.

road rage

2011-06-29T08:46:00.004-04:00

i am what some might consider an "aggressive driver"

i have, on more than one occasion, ridden the ass of a speed limit abiding citizen; all the while gesturing furiously at them from the safety of my vehicle.

i have also passed someone on a double yellow simply because if i stayed behind them for another mile i was liable to consider doing unspeakable things to them.

but road rage towards other humans is not what i'm here to discuss today.
no- it's road rage towards a few of God's creatures. mainly, chipmunks.

just in case you're not from planet earth & have no idea what a chipmunk is- here is a nifty little diagram:

ok?

what. the. hell. is wrong with chipmunks?!?!

why do they want to die so bad? why do they seemingly have no desire to live & frolick & stuff their cheeks with nuts???

why do they dart out from the side of the road, at the very last second, causing you to either:
a. slam on your brakes so hard that you fear you've just voided your car's warranty

b. kill. them. dead.

i'm not entirely sure- but i think i might have an idea.
this is what i imagine a chipmunk's brain looks like:

so simple, yet ominously kamikaze.

i suspect that they hole up in their underground lairs trying to decide on a time where they will show the world their agenda by making us kill them (...what?)

and they must have decided the time is now. the summer of 2011.
because so far this month i've killed no less than 5 chipmunks. 5!!!

before June 2011 i had a pretty clean record.

- 1 weasel
- 2 squirrels
- 1 chipmunk
- 1 bird

not bad for 9 years on the road.
but horrifically, that list is getting bigger & bigger thanks to chipmunk population control (this is the only explaination that makes any sense)

my latest casualty was yesterday afternoon. after a quick stop at Target (which may or may not have had me driving in a haze of euphoria) i was headed towards home as i saw a chipmunk dash across the road.

thankfully (or so i thought) i was far enough away that he had more than enough time to make it across to safety. yay! happy chipmunk. happy me.

but as i got closer i clearly witnessed him stop. turn. and then dash BACK across the road & throw himself under my tires.

omg.

i felt the telltale thump & when i looked in my rearview mirror i saw the carnage i had left in my wake.
thankfully he was really dead because there was no twitching or attempting to get up.
(those are the worst hit & runs because you feel like you should stop & help, but come on. it's a freaking chipmunk who was clearly bent on ending his/her life. totes not your fault)

i admit, the Target haze did help soothe the guilt i felt- but still.
i'm sure chipmunks are supposed to die at some point- that's the circle of life after all.
but i don't think my 3 ton vehicle is legitimately part of that circle of life.

that spot is reserved for gary cat (who has been on his own murderous spree & has been depositing dead things on our back porch, every night, for the past several months...including chipmunks)

anyway. i got home a few minutes later & declared to myself that i'd be even more dilligent to watch out for suicidal chipmunks.
but as i stepped out of the car, i spotted a chipmunk (with adorably stuffed cheeks) sitting not even 2 feet away & judging by his very visual thoughts, i realized that my efforts to save the lives of chipmunks is futile:

eff me.

that whole "thou shalt not murder" commandment doesn't include chipmunks- does it?

(all pictures via google & enhanced by me)

a few weeks via Instagram

2011-06-27T10:07:00.001-04:00

i'm still trying to figure out how i managed without an iPhone for so long

dress. shoes. more shoes. my favorite tee.
daddy time. Coldstone time. brynn time. church time.
mocha macaron. fuel. temptation. epic basil plant.
busted up nose. smiles. pondering. sleep.

hair. me & b. Sperrys. flower power.
mornin'. stripes. tummy. gaaah.
forbidden. touching anyway. angry alex. her new shirt.
sisters. brynnie. nom. bathtime.

happy monday.

a quick father's day recap

2011-06-24T08:39:00.005-04:00

we set off to RI bright & early last Sunday.
our destination: The Roger Williams Zoo (because fathers got in free)

a pit stop was made in order to eat breakfast & change diapers:

classy McD's. ridin' dirty. alex.

alex also consumed way too much water & promptly pee all over herself & her father.
this led to the rinsing of clothing & the use of the bathroom hand dryer in an attempt to make things wearable.

when that failed- operation "dry RuffleButts on the car's dashboard" commenced:

it didn't work as quickly as i hoped it would

despite an awesome double stroller, purchased specifically for her & her sister, alex refused to sit & demanded to walk or be held then entire time.

she did show some mild interest in the animals- but not nearly as much as the husband was hoping for.

alex's favorite. zebra. flamingo.

but all i all- we had a great time.

and this sign made me lol:

we wrapped up our time at the zoo & set off for something i had been looking forward to for days:

that's right- Rita's.
we don't have any up in our area- and i haven't had a Rita's in YEARS so i almost lost my mind.

Rita's 4 life!

right?

gah. as good as i remember.

me: Gelati with a layer of vanilla frozen custard- Cranberry italian ice- vanilla frozen custard
the husband: Gelati with a layer of vanilla frozen custard- Pear italian ice- vanilla frozen custard

and the best part? the girls were totally unknowing the backseat- so i didn't have to share.

short & sweet. have a great weekend!

favor? and fashion smashion

2011-06-22T10:10:00.007-04:00

first off- a little bird told me about a voting going on for the Top 25 Mom Photogs.
i'm no pro- but i love taking pictures & i'd be honored if you feel that i'm worthy of voting for.

so if you feel so led- clicky the button & then click Vote next to my entry. click 1x per day for the next 7 days! gracias!
(i'll put it in my sidebar)

and moving on:
i'll be the first to admit that i don't put a whole lot of thought into what i throw on in the mornings.

it's clean. it fits. it's on.

however, i wouldn't say i'm a complete ignoramous when it comes to fashion. i do have an idea of what's "in" these days & i know where to go to purchase these things.
but i am incredibly lazy & terribly cheap. not a good combination for a fashionista.

i guess than even bigger issue is that i think most of the "in" things are simply terrible (to me). i'm not a fan of chunky heels & wedges. i can't stand super flowy tops, tons of flowers & excessive ruffles. i also dislike jewelry & weird looking belts.

and don't even get me started on random vintage finds. i mean, my God. i'm down with vintage- it can be cute & classic- but some of the stuff people wear in the name of vintage leaves me scratching my head (not to mention my eyes).

i'm pretty sure that gold brocade grandma skirt wasn't cool 30 years ago & it sure as hell isn't cool now.

and then lets move on to 97% of the items in the Urban Outfitters catalogue.
cropped t shirts? denim tank tops? mom shorts? what?
here's an example- 6 outfits that i found via the UO website:

w.t.f.

did i miss a memo somewhere? and none of these items are below $35. wrap your heads around that.
i'd usually say to each their own- but really?!

and i guess the final issue is that many of the things out there that ARE super cute & awesome simply don't look good on me.

i'm short. currently top heavy (mommy milk). weirdly skinny in some places. weirdly not skinny in others. not oozing the aura of effortless awesome.

some people can wear anything. i am not one of those people.

BUT- i'm trying. i'm trying to look like a presentable member of fashion society.
i'm not on the fast track to being in the top 25 fashionable mom's circle or anything- but at least i won't be on the "People of Wal Mart" website with fupa inducing mom jeans & an animal print tank top.
i'd love to be able to outfit myself in threads from Anthropologie & J Crew. but hello- i have bills to pay.
thankfully i'm a fan of the more affordable H&M & Target. and when i get a mind to brave the warzone- Marshall's & TJ Maxx give up a few gems as well.

as for online stores- ModCloth & Ruche are pretty swell- but again, i'm a cheapo & $34 for a top still kind of makes me balk.

however- on Mon i did manage to throw together an outfit that i was proud of & didn't break the bank.

top: Marshall's: $14.99
shorts: Converse (Target): $25
flip flops: so old i don't even know

not bad if i say so myself. the top is flowy but not pregnant esq. the short are linen & SO comfy. and the flip flops are so broken in that i could happily wear them to bed.

now- i'm not saying i'm fashionable & everyone else is not. because that would be a straight up falsehood.
i'm just stating that i'm going to try my very best to dress like a decent human being again in the hopes to once again feel young...or at least not older than i really am.

but until that time, here are a list of very fashionable ladies that make it look easy:
- miss james (she makes things- that i would never in a million years consider wearing- look good)
- mandy (everyday friendly attire)
- nienie (i'm pretty sure 75% of her wardrobe is c/o Anthro. jealous)
- kelle (i think we all know who kelle is. and i know i want to hate her for her perfect post baby body)
- melissa (she looks perfect always. always)

and those are just a handful. there is nice little listing found here: fashionable moms
and when i have a minute i like to go & get ideas...

i won't lie- even after getting inspired i usually wind up throwing on my trusty jeans & knit tee. but it's the thought that counts- right?

whirlwind weekend

2011-06-21T11:42:00.005-04:00

what. a. weekend.

it was jam packed with awesome.
from a saturday at home (just the girls & i), to father's day @ the Roger William's Zoo, to Rita's, to an awesome GTG in Boston on Monday- so much fun.

i'll break it down for you though- let's focus on the GTG from Monday (which'll give me another day to finish editing the Zoo pics)

thanks to the internet i've met some pretty awesome people in my lifetime.

back in the day, i also met some less than stellar ~~peeps~~ guys who probably had my parents praying that they wouldn't have to put my face on a "Have You Seen This Girl?" poster (p.s. not every guy in a band is hot. and most of them don't have jobs or cars.
but that's neither here not there. )

anyway- back to the awesome people part. 4 years ago, while struggling to get pregnant i found myself relating to a group of women on thebump.com.

all of us barren. all of us bitter. all of us in need of something to take our minds off of what we could not have. so we banded together & became fast friends.

since that time the majority of us have had the babies we craved & then some. also, instead of drifting apart we've become even closer. i think it has to do with the fact that we're all very, very real.

real. honest. blunt. logical. loyal. loving. bitchy. snarky. hilarious. ridiculously good looking. good at making cute babies. obsessed with bacon.

to sum it up: all of the above qualities put together = super powers. and to have super powers you have to be a super ~~hero~~ woman. and to be a super woman you have to be really hot. and have great boobs.

so yeah. we kick ass. and 1x per year we get together for an epic B-town time.
this year we dragged our lovely littles (and one husband) to the Children's Museum in Boston.

one of us had twin girls & a hand out of commision. another had a toddler melting down + a squirmy bebe (um, that would be me). another, a child hell bent on escaping. and etc etc,

but being awesome, we made it work.
- while i toted alex back & forth to the bathroom (amidst her melt down), my ladies swooped in & took care of brynn.
- i changed several poopy diapers- and some of them didn't belong to my girls.
- noses were wipes. faces were washed.
- snacks were shared & fights over grapes & goldfish ensued.
- homemade french macarons with nutella filling induced comas were had (you're welcome)
- lunch @ Flour was purchase & consumed & shared.
- pictures were taken (mamarazzi style).
- little girls shrieked, played, hit, hugged, giggled, fell, cried, helped, shared, stole- the works.

it was amazing. and tiring. and a little sticky- but mostly amazing.
and we have forever proof & memories in the way of pictures.
enjoy:

this was the best group shot.

perhaps the children..?

FAIL! (lol @ brynn)

mamma love time.

the one brave dad (he thinks we're all "weirdos" because we're interwebz friends. psha)

this cup made it's rounds. it holds the spit of pretty much every little girl in attendance.

nemo goes everywhere

tis' not a cage...but i can dream. wait, what?!

alex did not want to leave the bathroom. kid level sinks = euphoria.

the mamarazzis.

fin. (you can see all the fun on my flickr page)

seriously the best day ever. the count down begins for next year's epic gathering. so. much. estrogen. ha!

oh, you want to see those french macarons i mentioned? (the recipe'll be up in my food blog pronto)

get in my bellah.

via Instagram

what a way to end the day.

it's time

2011-06-17T08:36:00.003-04:00

i strive for structure. i love schedules. i have a way of doing things.

usually (during the week) this involves: getting up, going to work, getting home from work, feeding the girls, bathing the girls, getting things ready for the next day, playtime, bedtime.

most days, all of the above is completed by 6:30 (minus bedtime) and i sit back & sigh.
yes- there may have been some tantrums & screaming but at least everything is how it should be & i'm on time.

go me.

but lately i've come to the realization that my schedule isn't do or die. for example:
i got home yesterday & the girls were in their swimsuits. but the swimsuits were dry.

KB (our nanny) informed me that the plan was to spend the afternoon swimming- but alex had slept until 4 & they hadn't gotten a chance. so they were ready to go out now.

ok, cool! wait...what?!

swimming @ 4:30 was NOT on the schedule. 4:30 is dinner time!

i stood there (rather stupidly) with my mind racing.
"it's 4:30 now. then 5:15, 5:47, 6:10....AHHHH!"

then alex started in- "outside? outside? MAMMA! OUT!"

i stared at her for a minute & then i'm pretty sure i felt something break inside my brain. like legit- snap. tis' broken. has ceased to work. is no more.

and all of sudden i realized that it's 4:30. it's sunny. it's warm. there's a pool outside. there is a very eager little girl looking at me. there is another little girl crapping her diaper.

there is also no law that says we can't go outside for an hour. or 2 hours. or whatever.

so i grabbed my camera, my phone, some towels & my children & we headed outside.

now i'm not saying that schedules & structure are a bad thing. they're actually pretty kick ass & almost required for every day life.
i'm not going to suggest you start waltzing into work @ 10am, because i'm pretty sure your boss will be like, "eff you & you're epiphany- work starts at 8 you hippie!"

and even if you don't work outside of the home- i'm pretty sure your kid still needs to eat in the morning, nap in the afternoon & go to bed before midnight. (kids thrive on structure- tis' a fact)

but i am suggesting that if the very thought of wavering from your daily schedule throws you into a mild panic & you're so irked by the slightest change in your routine that you wouldn't even stop to pet a puppy, then maybe you should consider trying to break something in your brain.

relax. enjoy. go with the flow.

stay in bed for an extra 10 minutes. brake for a coffee. go to Target on your lunch break (on second thought, the magical world of Target makes time disappear & your cashflow seem endless, so you might want to avoid this suggestion). stop at a yard sale on your way home. go to the park at 5:45. eat ice cream for dinner at 7.

it's all good. like a can of Coke or a ~~Toblerone~~ Snickers.

and to prove to you that i'm not making yesterday's revelation up- bam:

"i am insane for the pool!"

"mamma, read puss!" (that means octopus)

should i have stopped her? cause i didn't.

crocs. darling on children- side eye worthy on grown men.

"oh hai"

she's trying to wink. i kid you not.

see? it happened. and i survived. and i still got to work on time this morning. hallelujah.

weekend news:
we are headed to the Roger William's Zoo on Sunday (fathers get in free) and i'm stoked for a stop @ Rita's on the way home (i will OD on a Geladi. this i promise you).

Monday is a gtg (get together) in Boston with dear, dear friends (who i met online- go figure. see, not everyone on the interweb is a creeper) & their bebes. i'm totes excited out of my head.

have a wonderful father's day weekend!

6 months old

2011-06-14T07:41:00.003-04:00

i'm late on this, so let's pretend it's last friday (the 10th)

let's also pretend that i'm a bikini model even after pushing out 2 children...yes. that's nice.

anyway. friday the 10th = brynn is 6 months old. that's 1/2 a year. that's closer to being 1 than being a newborn. that's nuts.

bless you.

i love her. she's perfect. much like alex was at this age. 6 months = fun.

she can sit up- she can roll- he can launch herself off of anything- she's trying to crawl- she babbles- blows raspberries- eats food- grabs things- screams loudly- etc etc. all of those things that pedis say babies are supposed to do, and more.

::sigh::

i'm already missing the snuffly bebe stage. THIS is why Michelle Duggar has 20 kids. i get it now.

week via instagram

2011-06-10T16:07:00.003-04:00

dear Lord- how do i pick 1 pair? oh wait, i don't. i pick them all.

peonies. happy child with Smarties. pissed off child without Smarties.

nekkid bebe. cessna wants to play. love.

things that do not help my waistline. iced coffee ice cubes- genius me.

have a fab weekend!

picture post

2011-06-08T09:24:00.003-04:00

pictures from the weekend:

the new double stroller.
we went with the Kolcraft Contours Optima Tandem

i really wanted the Hudson pattern (which is only available in selct Buy buy Baby Stores) so i was pumped when we stopped in on Sunday & spotted it on the store floor. they informed us it had just arrived the night before. score.

i love it. it pushes with ease, it's light (for a double) & has a TON of basket room. the seats have 6 diff position options & the option to only use 1 (and have room for storage).
it does take up the entire back of my jeep- but i guess that's the price you pay for a double.

it's also priced right @ $299

"hi binnie bin!" (that's what she calls brynn)

::hug::

she carries Nemo everywhere.

dress: babyGap
socks: babylegs
shoes: See Kai Run

me: "alex, look at mamma. let me see your dress!"
her: "NO!"

"daddy, walk."

romper: Liberty of London for Target
leggings: babylegs

brynn sat very contently for our ride. and then she fell asleep.

in my hair's defense- it was quite humid.

flowers

almost home

ok- now i feel caught up.

my personal damn you auto correct

2011-06-07T15:05:00.002-04:00

i was demanding my bff give me some peonies from her yard

i wanted her to make sure they were ant free (peonies require ants to open) but apparently my phone wanted to ensure that they'd also be anus free

peonies - anus - ants = for the win

weekend review

2011-06-06T10:21:00.003-04:00

my friday was spent volunteering with SONH (Special Olympics of NH)

i've been attending the SONH games for many years (courtesy of my older brother, seen here getting down at my wedding):

"sup?"

(the majority of his dancing included this move & the macarena. but he also mixed it up by doing the worm & attempting to breakdance. epic.)

thanks to my love for the above (even though he spent the better part of my teenage years proposing to his female classmates with rings he had stolen from me- "where's my ring...FRANK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!") i have been volunteering for the past 3 years. it's by far one of the highlights of my year & i get to spend one day completely happy. seriously.

the past 2 years it's been raining (joy) so i was pleased when i woke up & saw no rain (hooray). however, i wasn't prepared for the fridgid temps & 35 mph winds (um, it's effing JUNE!).

myself, my bff & another friend pulled into the parking lot bemoning the weather, only to be greeted by this:

i'm pretty sure this jeep is being driven by a crazy person. legit insane. why on earth would you leave glorious Hawaii for NH?!
to actually ship your car over 2,500 miles of ocean & then spend 6 days driving from Cali (also lovely) to NH?!?

my mind still can't grasp it.

anyway- despite the cold & crappy winds- we had a kick ass time:

i also managed to aquire a pretty bad ass sunburn on my face. mainly my nose & cheeks. i look like the freaking Scarecrow.

the rest of the weekend was spent playing with my girls (who are blissfully unaware that they don't reside in hawaii)

(via Instagram)

i've got more- but in an effort to reduce the risk of picture overload, i'll save em' for later.
for now i'll leave you with the knowledge that i'm at my desk trying not to eat all of these:

so far so good. this is a testimony of my incredible self control.

but then again, it's only 11 o'clock.

macro fun

2011-06-02T13:32:00.004-04:00

the iris' were my victims this past weekend- along with a buttercup, gary, a spider ::gag::, a fly & some sort of flower humping insect.

purple iris'

crab spider (this thing was tiny- like a grain of rice, tiny and i still broke out in a cold sweat)

flower humping bug

flying away

fly

buttercup DO YOU LIKE BUTTER?!?!! remember that?

gary. king of everything.

i'm missing one of the spider pics- bummer. i'll have to upload it later.

anyway- as stated- macro fun. i SO need more practice- my goal is for sharper pics. and better editing.

need. more. hours. in. the. day.